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Sympathy vs. Empathy
I
recently received a hub request to write an article on the difference between sympathy and empathy. Receiving my undergrad
in Psychology, I had my own thoughts on the differences already, but decided to add to my knowledge by doing some research.
I was amazed at how others described the differences and found a few sites that I feel were incorrect in their distinctions.
If you have any thoughts, please feel free to leave a comment at the bottom of the page.
Sympathy Definitions
Merriam-Webster definition of sympathy:
the act or capacity of entering into or sharing the feelings or interests of another b :
the feeling or mental state brought about by such sensitivity <have sympathy for the poor>
Answers.com definition of sympathy:
the act or power of sharing the feelings of another; a feeling or an expression of pity or sorrow for the distress of another;
compassion or commiseration. Often used in the plural. Synonym: pity
Wikipedia's definition of sympathy:
Sympathy is an emotional affinity in which whatever affects one correspondingly affects the other, and its synonym
is pity. Sympathy comes from the Latin sympatha, from Greek: συμπάθεια
transliterated as sympatheia, from συν + πάσχω = συμπάσχω
literally: to suffer together also: affected by like feelings or emotion. Thus the essence of sympathy is that a person's feelings reflect
or are like those of another or that a person suffers as a response to, or because of, another person's suffering.
Sympathy exists when the feelings or emotions of one person
give rise to similar feelings in another person, creating a state of shared feeling. In common usage, sympathy is usually
the sharing of unhappiness or sufferring, but it can also refer to sharing other (positive) emotions as well. In a broader
sense, it can refer to the sharing of political or ideological sentiments, such as in the phrase "a communist sympathiser".
The psychological state of sympathy is closely linked with that
of empathy, but is not identical to it. Empathy refers to the ability to perceive and directly experientially feel another
person's emotions as they feel them, but makes no statement as to how they are viewed. Sympathy, by contrast, implies a degree
of equal feeling, that is, the sympathiser views the matter similarly to how the person themselves does. It thus implies concern,
or care or a wish to alleviate negative feelings others are experiencing.
Empathy Definitions
Merriam-Webster's definition of empathy:
the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts,
and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated
in an objectively explicit manner;
Answers.com definition of empathy:
identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives; the attribution of one's own feelings
to an object; Sympathetic, sad concern for someone in misfortune. Synonym is also pity
Britannica Concise Encyclopedia's definition
of empathy: Ability to imagine oneself in another's place and understand the other's feelings, desires, ideas,
and actions. The empathic actor or singer is one who genuinely feels the part he or she is performing. The spectator of a
work of art or the reader of a piece of literature may similarly become involved in what he or she observes or contemplates.
The use of empathy was an important part of the psychological counseling technique developed by Carl R. Rodgers.
Wikipedia's definition of empathy:
Empathy (from the Greek εμπάθεια, "to suffer with") is commonly defined
as one's ability to recognize, perceive and directly experientially feel the emotion of another. As the states of mind, beliefs,
and desires of others are intertwined with their emotions, one with empathy for another may often be able to more effectively
define another's modes of thought and mood. Empathy is often characterized as the ability to "put oneself into another's shoes",
or experiencing the outlook or emotions of another being within oneself, a sort of emotional resonance.
The difference as I see it...
Empathy is a much deeper sense of emotion and a sense that you
can feel another's feelings and state of being along with feeling sympathetic to their issue. (Sometimes you can be empathetic
and not sympathetic but this isn't as common, e.g., an abuser may understand the feeling of being abused, but still abuses.)
Sympathy is a feeling of understanding the issue and wanting to help the one in need. Most of the time empathy and sympathy
are used in a sense of sharing unhappy feelings, but the sharing of happy feelings is also possible. Here's an example:
Sympathy:I am sorry for your loss.
What can I do to help you during this difficult time?
Empathy: I feel and understand
your pain; my grandmother passed away last year as well.
Sympathy: A doctor may feel sympathy
and understands a patient's illness and try to alleviate the pain, but she may not feel his/her distress and pain.
Empathy: A cancer support group
can empathize with the radiation therapy of a member and understand his/her fear because they have experienced the procedure
as well.
source site: click here
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Raising a Sympathetic Child
by Margery D. Rosen
Tackling Those Tricky
Feelings
Decoding Emotions
Some feelings are easier than others to
explain to 2- and 3-year-olds. "They relate to 'happy' or 'mad' because those are visual and concrete," says Dr. Kamboukos.
"It's harder to teach a toddler about subtle feelings, like being disappointed or embarrassed."
In these cases, how you respond to your
child's behavior is especially important. For example, if your child points at a woman in a wheelchair, use it as an opportunity
to teach him about emotions. Calmly explain that though a wheelchair looks unusual to him, the woman might feel embarrassed
if people stare at her. "Children grasp the meaning of a word when they hear it again and again," says Gurian. Remember: Your
toddler won't know he's being unkind unless you tell him.
Then, help your child figure out what he
doesn't understand or may be afraid of: "The lady needs a wheelchair because it's hard for her to walk." Try to find a connection
to your child's life: "We use your stroller when it's hard for you to walk."
Words to Live By
Help your child understand his emotions
with these books.
When
Sophie Gets Angry -- Really, Really Angry..., by Molly Bang. Sophie tries to stay calm when her sister wants to share
a toy.
Hands
Are Not for Hitting, by Martine Agassi. Kids learn peaceful ways to deal with their pals.
Mama,
Do You Love Me? by Barbara Joosse. A little girl tests her mother's love.
Maisy
Loves You, by Lucy Cousins. Maisy shows her friends how much she cares through sweet gestures and gifts.
Copyright � 2007. Reprinted with permission
from the June 2007 issue of Parents magazine.
Words Of Sympathy
by Susan Kroeker
People often stay away after something terrible has happened
to a friend or loved one. They don’t stay away because they don’t care, but because they don’t think they
can give any great words of comfort. We all know there are statements that flow from our mouths that should have never left
it, words like “it will be okay” or “they are in a better place now” even “ it will get easier”.
Yes, those are true, but in the aftermath of a tragedy these words would really be better left unsaid. They do nothing to
ease the sting of death.
During times like these, if you can not sit down and talk with the person a simple hug and
I’m sorry will do. If you are able to spend more time with them however, you should try and give them a memory you have
of their loved one that they can hold on to and replay in their mind. It will give them something wonderful to think about
instead of dwelling on the last few days.
At times sitting down and writing out a letter or sympathy poem can help
you to deal with the emotions running through your head as well as be a wonderful gift to the surviving party. Sending a small
gift of sympathy is always well received as is the cards with meaningful and thoughtful poems and verses meant to sooth the
aching heart.
If you can’t be there in person think of sending a sympathy gift basket filled with items that
will bring comfort to your loved one and let them know your thinking of them. www.planetgiftbaskets.com carries a thoughtful and respectful line of sympathy gifts that
will help your convey your heartfelt condolences.
Simple statements are best when expressing your sympathy. Depending
on how well you knew the person who died and how well you know the person who is grieving will dictate just how much you should
say at a time like this. If you are very close to the family you will no doubt want to be there for them. Express what your
heart is feeling. Grieve with them, share memories, just sit in silence with your arm around them. Be willing to give of your
time, lend your ears, and supply a shoulder to cry on. These things will be remembered for a long time.
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