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The following information was found at www.coping.org! It's a fantastic site and I highly recommend you go there to see it all for yourself. You may
find some very useful information!
 
Building Trust
The following information is from www.coping.org a very good website, by the way! It's from their "Tools for Personal Growth" section! click here for the source page!
What is trust?
Trust is:
-
Letting others know your feelings, emotions & reactions & having the confidence in them to respect you & to not take advantage of you.
-
Sharing your inner feelings & thoughts with others with the belief that they will not spread them indiscriminately.
-
Placing confidence in others so that they will be supportive & reinforcing of you, even if you let down your "strong'' mask & show your weaknesses.
-
Assuming that others will not intentionally hurt or abuse you if you should make an error or a mistake.
-
The inner sense of acceptance you have of others with whom you are able to share secrets, knowing they are safe.
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The sense that things are fine; that nothing can disrupt the bond between you & the other.
-
The ability to let others into your life so that you & they can create a relationship built on an understanding of mutual respect, caring & concern to assist one another in growing & maturing independently.
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The glue or cement of relationships that allows you to need others to fulfill yourself.
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Opening yourself up to let others in on your background, problems, concerns & mistakes with the assurance
that they will not ostracize you because of these things.
-
The act of placing
yourself in the vulnerable position of relying on others to treat you in a fair, open & honest way.
Why do people have trouble developing trust in others?
People have trouble developing trust
if they have:
-
Experienced
a great deal of emotional and/or physical abuse and/or neglect.
-
Been chronically
put down for the way they feel or for what they believe.
-
Been emotionally
hurt in the past and are not willing to risk getting hurt in the future.
-
Had problem
relationships in the past where they were belittled, misunderstood, or ignored.
-
Experienced
the loss of a loved one through death. They can get so caught up in unresolved grief that they are unable to open themselves
up to others, fearing they will be left alone again due to death, or, abandonment.
-
Experienced
a hostile or bitter divorce, separation, or end of a relationship. They may be unable to believe anyone who opens up to them
in a new, committed relationship.
-
Been reared
in or have lived in an environment emotionally and/or physically unpredictable and volatile.
-
Experienced
a great deal of pain at the hands of another. Even if the other finally recognizes and accepts the responsibility to change
such behavior, the person fears that if they let their guard down, the pain and hurt will begin again.
-
Low self-esteem
and can't believe that they are deserving of the attention, care, and concern of anyone. They have problems even trusting the positive, healthy, and reinforcing behavior of another who is sincere.
-
Experienced
a great deal of non-provoked victimization in their lives. They are unwilling to trust people, situations, or institutions for fear
of being victimized again.
What are some beliefs of people who have problems trusting?
-
I have
been hurt too much in the past, and I refuse to be hurt again now or in the future!
-
People
are out to get all they can from you, so avoid them to survive!
-
As soon
as you let your guard down, you will be stepped on again!
-
No one
is to be trusted!
-
You always
get hurt by the ones you love!
-
I get
no respect from anyone!
-
All men
(or women) are dishonest and are never to be
trusted!
-
Everyone
is out to get me!
-
I am never
successful in picking partners, so why try again!
-
As soon
as you care and open up to someone, they will always leave you!
-
Marriage is the pits!
-
There
is no such thing as a healthy relationship!
-
You can
never let your guard down because all hell will break loose!
-
All reformations
are short-lived!
-
If I give
in and believe you have truly changed, relaxing my defenses, I am most certainly going to be hurt again once you backslide!
-
There
is no such thing as change in behavior. It is only manipulation by others to get their way with you!
-
Everyone
is out to get as much as they can out of you!
-
There
is no such thing as a fair employer, generous company, or supportive work place!
-
It is
better to live alone for the rest of my life than to risk being hurt as I was!
-
I
will never let you know my true feelings again since, if I do open up, I'm afraid you will use them against me to hurt me!
What behavioral traits do people need in order to develop trust?
People need
to develop the following behavior traits, attitudes, and beliefs in order to develop
trust:
Hope in the goodness of mankind:
Without such hope people can become emotionally stuck,
reclusive, and isolated. Hope in goodness is a change based on the willingness to take a risk that all people are not evil,
bad, or ill-willed.
Faith in the fairness of life: This faith
in fairness is similar to the "boomerang belief,'' that what you throw out to others will come back to you eventually in life.
So if people are fair, honest, or nurturing they will eventually receive similar behavior aimed back at them.
Having faith in fairness is an attitude that helps people be open to others and risk being vulnerable. They believe that the person who treats them negatively will eventually ``get it in the end!'' and be punished in someway
later in this life or in the next.
Belief in a power greater than yourself: This is the acceptance
of a spiritual power with greater strength, wisdom, and knowledge than you; one with a divine plan to include your experience, whatever you will encounter in life.
Rather than believing that you are 100% in control of your destiny, belief
in this spiritual power enables you to let go of over responsibility, guilt, and anger. This lets you accept God's will in
your life and enables you to let go of your distrust and isolation from others.
If God is in control of the universe, you can lighten your load and let God
do some of the leading in your life. "Let go and let God,'' can be your motto.
A healing environment: This is the creating of a trust bond
with the significant others in your personal life where blaming, accusing, and acrimony do not exist. In the healing mode
the participants actively use forgiveness, understanding, and healthy communication to resolve problems and issues.
The participants are then willing to forget, to let go, and to release themselves of the past
hurts, wounds, and pain, opening themselves to trust one another.
Reduction of a sense of competition:
This reducing of competition, jealousy, and defensiveness
with significant others in your life is a way to reduce the barriers between you and them. The lowering of these psychological
barriers is essential to the movement toward development of mutual trust.
Self-disclosure of negative self-scripts:
Your disclosing of your inability to feel good about
yourself and your perceived lack of healthy self-esteem are essential in reducing miscommunication or misunderstanding between
you and the significant others in your life.
This self-disclosure reveals to the others your perspective on obstacles you believe you bring
to relationships. This sheds the mask of self-defensiveness and allows the other to know you as you know yourself. It is easier
to trust that which is real than that which is unreal or hidden.
Taking a risk to be open to others: This enables you to become
a real person to others. It is an essential behavior in trust-building between two people
because it is the establishing of the parameters of strengths and weaknesses on which you have to draw as the relationship
develops.
Becoming vulnerable: This enables you to be hurt by others who
know your weaknesses and strengths. This is an essential step in trust-building between
people. It lays the cards on the table in a gamble that in such total self-revelation the others will accept you for who you
really are rather than for who they want you to be. In order to get to full self-disclosure you must take the risk to be vulnerable to others. This is an important building block in trust development.
Letting go of fear: Fear restricts your actions with
others. Letting go frees you of behavioral constraints that can immobilize your emotional development. Fear of rejection,
fear of failure, fear of caring, fear of success, fear of being hurt, fear of the unknown, and fear of intimacy are blocks to the development of trust
relationships and can impede relationship growth if not given appropriate attention and remedial action.
Self-acceptance: Accepting who you
are and what your potential is an important step in letting down your guard enough to develop a
trusting relationship with others.
If you
are so insecure in your identity that you are unable to accept yourself first, how can you achieve the self-revelation
necessary to develop trust? Self-acceptance through an active program of self-affirmation
and self-love is a key to the development of trust.
What steps can be taken to improve trust
building?
Step 1: Read the material in this section and answer the following questions
in your journal:
a. Am
I lacking trust in persons, groups, or institutions? If yes, in which persons, groups, or
institutions do I lack trust? How does this lack of trust manifest
itself? This lack of trust looks like:
b. Why do I lack trust
in the persons, groups, or institutions listed in "a?''
c. What beliefs do I hold that are behind my lack of trust in the persons, groups, or institutions
listed in "a?''
d. What new behavior trait(s) do I need to acquire or develop in order to develop trust in the person, group, or institution listed
in "a?''
Step 2: Now you should have a good idea of where your
lack of trust lies. Why is this so? To change some beliefs and to remediate this situation:
a. Take the beliefs in Step 1c & use the Tools for Personal Growth "refuting Irrational Beliefs'' model to get replacement beliefs. Let go of the old beliefs.
b. Take
the new behavior listed in Step 1d, and use the Self-affirmation
process in Tools for Personal Growth to make the new beliefs real for you.
Step 3: Once you have let go of your irrational beliefs
and have begun affirming new personal beliefs, try one or both of the following exercises to assist your development of trust:
a. Letter writing: To a person
you have problems trusting, write a letter listing your reasons for the lack of trust, list the feelings and beliefs that block your trust, and ask the person to understand and assist you in this problem.
Tell the person
what you are willing to do and to commit to in order to change this situation.
Also,
tell the person what you are unwilling to do because of your personal integrity. Once you have written the letter you have three choices:
(1) send it,
(2) save it, or
(3) rip it up and throw
it away.
No matter what
your choice is, you have spent the time to think out this problem and have identified your feelings, beliefs, and the behavior involved. You have cleared your own ``air waves,'' even if you never send the letter.
b. Trust walk:
Ask the individual you have been having problems trusting to share at least ninety minutes
together. During this time you and the person will each take thirty minute turns being "blinded'' with a cloth and led by
the "sighted'' person on a walk in a park, mall, neighborhood, or building.
The sighted person
must give clear, precise verbal instructions and must not hold on to or grab the "blinded'' person. The "blinded'' person
is allowed only to hold on to the left upper or lower arm or elbow of the "sighted'' person.
The "blinded''
person can ask as many questions as needed. The "blinded'' person does not determine the route of the walk. The "sighted'' guide determines the route and destination
of this walk. At the end of the first thirty minute walk, the two people exchange roles and blindfold and proceed with the
second part of the walk for another thirty minutes.
When both parties
have played both roles, they should spend at least another thirty minutes discussing:
(1) How comfortable was I in trusting you?
(2) How
comfortable was I in the "sighted" role?
(3) How
comfortable was I in the "blinded'' role?
(4) How important was mutual trust in making the trust-walk successful?
(5) What were my feelings as I was being blindfolded?
(6) What were my feelings as the "sighted'' guide?
(7) How
clear were my verbal instructions for you?
(8) How could I have improved my guidance?
(9) How willing were you to accept my guidance?
(10) What
does this experience tell us about our trust of one another?
(11) What
does this experience tell me about my fear of loss of personal control?
(12) What
does this experience tell us about changes we need to make to develop mutual trust?
(13) How
willing are we to take a trust-walk once a month or until we have established a healthy level of trust in one another?
(14) What are the remaining
blocks to developing a sense of trust between us?
(15) What are we willing to do to continue developing our sense of trust?
Step 4: If after completing Steps 1, 2, and 3 you still have problems developing trust in a person, group, or institution, return to Step 1 and begin again.
 I'd like to thank www.coping.org again for use of the above information! They're some great folks there with some invaluable information!
Creating Abundance Through Trust
By Jane Straus
Dear Jane,
I know I have fears about money which probably keep me from having more money. But how do I break this vicious cycle?
How do we trust enough to trust? It’s a loan or
at least a dilemma. My friend James told me how he recently worked with his fears and limiting beliefs around money.
For six years he had been “at a loss”- literally, unable to figure out why he was living in poverty while everyone around him seemed to manifest abundance so easily. A few weeks
ago, he decided to stop asking why and started to simply “walk the walk” of abundance. It started with his awareness that he was out of integrity with himself and his church. His church asks its members to agree to tithe 10% of their earnings
to charity. Although he had made the agreement, he had been skimping, telling himself that he didn’t have enough money
for food or rent so how could he possibly give 10%?
When he confronted this, he
made a decision to tithe 10% anyway, even if it meant going hungry. He made one other behavioral change to stop reinforcing his fear of lack. He stopped letting his gas tank get dangerously close to empty or even running out of gas. From the moment he stopped
letting the fear of lack control him, his business began to boom. Within two weeks, he was booked with work for the next three months and has since given
the overflow to other contractors.
So how do we trust enough
to trust God / the Universe? This is where faith and “working in concert” come in. Faith means allowing God / the Universe to provide even though we can’t know ahead of time how things will work out. Faith is trusting, even with our fears and limiting beliefs. Working in concert means not sabotaging God / the Universe through behaviors that reinforce our fears and limiting beliefs. As I write about in Enough Is Enough!, working in concert means acting as if - as if we have perfect faith, as if it will all work out, as if we can help ourselves and others even when we don’t see how.
This is what James did by tithing and by filling up his gas tank. He behaved as if his fears and limiting beliefs didn’t have to be true or run the show anymore. I acknowledge James for his hard-won mastery of trust. He is an inspiration to me and I hope to you as well.
click here to visit the source page and read more about the author!
Trust In Relationships - Is This A Requirement For The Success
of a Marriage or Relationship?
by Leo Ryan
Trust in relationships could
be considered one of the essential requirements for the success of a good marriage or relationship. It is essential for a
healthy relationship.
Trust is absolutely pivotal in order for a relationship to
work. Where there is no trust, it effects the relationship in so many ways, and there are
relationship questions, like cheating relationship questions.
When there is a lack
of trust there is continuous suspicion and doubt about many things, raising a lot of relationship questions to ask.
One
is left questioning everything, and wondering if certain behavior or activities are other examples of a breach of trust in the relationship.
So much so that it can get to the point
where a person is so effected they are never able to be at ease, even thinking that cheating in relationships, is part of
what happens in relationships.
When the couple are not together, whether this be
during the day when each is at work, or if one party is out somewhere else at other times.
This
lack of trust in the relationship, can be effecting the person so much who feels there has
been a violation of trust, that asking relationship questions becomes a constant focus.
They can be thinking, “what is he/she up to now,” “can I be sure they are where they said
they would be, or are going.”
The effects can be devastating, and have a major
impact on the ongoing level of confidence in the marriage.
Trust in relationships
can become an issue with some couples if one of the partners has a friendship with a person of the opposite sex.
There tends to be a belief with a lot of people, that it is not possible to have platonic relationships
with anyone not of the same sex.
This can be a relationship issue threatening trust in relationships no matter how long people have been together or what age they are,
and can become a serious relationship problem.
This is rather a shame, as it is surely possible to have platonic relationships without suspecting there has to be sexual activity involved, leading to having grounds for a lack of trust
in relationships.
Unfortunately, this is very common, as there is such a strong view
generally, that men and women can’t have platonic relationships.
This can be
the case, particularly with people who have cynical attitudes who tend to be skeptical and distrustful in their approach to
life.
Another threat to trust in relationships can be if either partner has experienced a breakdown in trust in a previous relationship.
Sometimes people have
not come to terms with this issue from a former relationship, and it can be useful to seek professional help if that is the
case.
Associated with this, is that there can be self esteem issues that need to
be addressed. In simple terms, it can be a matter of,"I wasn’t good enough before, how can I be now".
There can be ongoing lack of trust in relationships. In a lot of marriages
and relationships there is clear evidence for the distrust.
When this happens, it
is unlikely the relationship can survive to the satisfaction of both partners, in which case it is going to be preferable for the couple not to stay together and to consider ways to
end relationships.
It is simply a matter of good relationships are built on trust, and without it, there is no foundation for the survival of the relationship.
I have tended to focus on the issues associated with when there is a lack, or breakdown of trust, in relationships.
It is important to emphasize
that when there is trust in relationships, it is a wonderful experience for you.
It means you can be at ease with each other and have a totally different experience. You have
a connection and level of intimacy that is intense and deep-seated, allowing you to enjoy life to the fullest.
You have such a level of trust in your relationship that is
beyond the wildest dreams of most people, and you feel very special.
Author's Bio
Leo Ryan is a counselor with over twenty years
experience in the field dealing primarily with relationships and particularly abusive relationships. He has given many talks,
seminars and workshops on the subject, as well as being interviewed by all sectors of the media about his work. He is the
author of the ebook "How to Have An Extraordinary Relationship". www.relationship-tips-for-you.com
source site: click here
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Mending Broken Trust
By Dr. Margaret Paul
December 31, 2006
When trust is broken, it does not need to be the end of a relationship. Much
can be learned from staying in a relationship and learning from the conflict situation. This article tells of how, through
the practice of Inner Bonding, two people mended trust when one was unfaithful.
Dylan and Hannah were to be married in a month when Hannah found
out that Dylan had been cheating on her with another woman. Devastated, she ended their relationship.
Dylan was also devastated. He really loved Hannah and had no
idea why he had been having an affair with a woman who meant nothing to him. Fortunately, Dylan reached out for help and started
phone sessions with me. In the course of his Inner Bonding work, he discovered deep feelings of worthlessness from a highly
abusive childhood. He had learned to define his worth through women and sex, and was addicted to the validation he received
from women. He had no idea how to fill and validate himself and was driven to appease his fear and anxiety through sex with
multiple women.
Dylan also discovered that he was terrified of being controlled
due to his angry and controlling mother, and having an affair was a way to protect himself from this fear. Hannah frequently
used anger as a way to have her way and Dylan had never learned how to stand up for himself, having learned to be a caretaker
for his parents. Withdrawing into his addiction was the only way he knew of not being controlled.
While Dylan believed in God, he had no connection with a personal
source of spiritual guidance. As he learned and began to practice the six steps of Inner Bonding and developed his spiritual
connection, Dylan began to fill up from the inside instead of having always to fill up from the outside. Dylan was diligent
regarding his Inner Bonding practice and within a short time, he knew that his sexual addiction was behind him. He had no
more desire to act out sexually. He loved Hannah and just wanted to be with her.
Dylan was also healing the old guilt from his parents' blame
and abuse. He was learning to stand up for himself rather let himself be controlled, to speak his truth rather than comply
out of fear and guilt to another's demands.
At this point, he contacted Hannah. She was still hurt and furious
and had no trust in him at all. However, she still loved him, and was confused about what to do. Her family and friends advised
her to stay away, but she heard something new in Dylan's voice that compelled her to open up a bit. She started phone sessions
with me as well.
"I love him but how can I ever trust him again?" she asked over
and over. Instead of working on trusting Dylan, we worked on Hannah learning to trust herself. As we went back through the
relationship, it became apparent to Hannah that she had been ignoring the inner promptings that told her something was wrong.
She had not trusted her own inner knowing. Out of fear of conflict, she had let many events go by that, if she would have
confronted them, would have shed light on the problems much earlier. Instead of speaking her truth, she had learned to get
angry as a way to protect against her fears of rejection. Hannah worked on developing her spiritual connection with a source
of guidance that helped her begin to trust her inner knowing. As she stopped abandoning herself and learned how to take care
of herself so that she no longer needed to control Dylan to feel safe, her anger subsided.
Meanwhile, Dylan went about proving his trustworthiness. He
was not only attentive and kind to Hannah, he became generous and kind with various members of his family, from whom he had
previously distanced.
After a few months of individual work, Hannah and Dylan began
to work together in their phone sessions with me. They learned to open and explore their conflicts and learn from them instead
of Hannah getting angry and Dylan complying and withdrawing. In shifting their intent from protecting against pain to learning
about love, Hannah and Dylan developed a loving relationship based on trust for themselves and each other. They are now married
with children and their relationship continues to evolve in love and trust.
Trust is built in a relationship when both people are open to
learning rather than controlling through anger, withdrawal, compliance or resistance. When our intention is to control rather
than to learn about what is loving to ourselves and our partner, we can never trust or feel secure with our partner, because
if we can control and manipulate him or her, others can too - and that's scary. Only when we believe our partner is with us
because he or she wants to be - out of desire and caring, rather than out of fear, obligation, or guilt - will we feel secure
and trusting. This only occurs when our intent is to learn about loving ourselves and others rather than to control.
The more we trust ourselves - our own inner knowing and the
wisdom from our spiritual guidance - the more open and trusting we can be with our partner. People often hold back from being
open with their partners with the implication, "I can't be open until you prove that I can trust you." By trust they mean
being able to predict their partners' response, guaranteeing that their partners will be loving rather than rejecting. One
of life's hardest realities is that this kind of guarantee is impossible. However, the more we trust ourselves and develop
our ability to speak our truth, the more we are willing to be open and risk another's free response to us. This is what creates
a loving and trusting relationship.
source site: click here
Rebuilding Trust
By Donna Karlin
How long did it take you to build,
and what did it take to build it?
Picture it as a structure, a building of sorts.
What purpose does that structure
serve?
Can you consult others to
help you build that structure exactly the way you want it?
What materials will you
use to build it?
Wouldn't
you make sure they were the best materials available?
They would have to be very
strong to survive any assault, and you would listen and learn as you built it, perhaps making some changes along the
way. Because once it's built you want to make sure it will stand the test of life's experiences. I'm sure there are things
you hadn't thought of that you'd want to add as you were in the process of building.
And wouldn't you have safeguards
in place in case that building was "under attack" even from the day to day challenges that threaten its structure? There's maintenance and repairs. You will want it to stand strong for a very long time. Others will envy you
for this building and want one for themselves, so they'll watch you closely as you preserve it to the best of your ability.
However, have you every thought of how long it takes to destroy a building made
of trust? It takes a brief moment in time. A destructive act, moment of chaos, dishonesty.
No matter how long it took to create, it takes a second to demolish. It doesn't matter how carefully you erected it, a trust building isn't broken, it's shattered....and then it's gone.
There are no pieces to
pick up. First you have to completely clear away the rubble before you can rebuild otherwise the foundation won't be
strong enough to support a new structure. Can you rebuild it? Sure you can!
Will others try to stop you
or give you a hard time about it? Perhaps. Will they help you rebuild? Some will. Others, who might have gotten hurt when
the building came down might be hesitant or even reluctant to pitch in. And you will have learned a lot in the process, allowing
you to build something stronger and longer lasting. Can you rebuild overnight?
No. It might take a long
time, but it will happen. And once the structure turns out the way you want it, you'll protect it even more than the first one. People who watch you will be even more amazed than the first time and appreciate all the
hard work you put into it. Many will remember the building that shattered, but you will know how strong the new one is. You
will protect it with everything you have so it will last a long long time.
BUILDING TRUST AND ACCEPTANCE WITH STEPCHILDREN
by
Waln K. Brown, Ph.D.
If you are having trouble building a relationship with your
stepchildren, do not despair. You are not alone. Nearly 50% of all families in the United States are stepfamilies. Many of
these stepfamilies have overcome difficult challenges and grown into strong family units; and yours can, too.
Stepchildren
may be unable to accept, trust, or love a stepparent immediately. This may be especially true with teenagers, children with
confused emotions, and kids who have a strong relationship with the absent biological parent.
Children of divorced
parents often hope that the natural parents will re-unite. This is normal and does not necessarily mean they dislike the stepparent.
Good
communication is the most important ingredient of successful family life. Patience, commitment, and resourcefulness are also
necessary in building a relationship with stepchildren. Some other important considerations for building trust and acceptance
include the following.
• Avoid competing with your spouse for the affection of the stepchildren.
• Avoid
pressing the stepchildren for shows of affection or loyalty.
• Be firm, fair, and consistent in the use of discipline.
•
Be sure to agree upon the use of discipline with your spouse.
• Be steady and consistent in your own behaviors.
•
Develop mutual interests, activities, and hobbies with your stepchildren.
• DO NOT tamper with their affection for
the absent biological parent.
• Help with homework and household chores, guiding and encouraging, but not doing their
tasks.
• Let stepchildren who are not comfortable calling you "Mom" or "Dad" find their own special name for you.
•
Let them know they are loved and valued members of the family through words, gestures, and deeds.
• Meet their friends
and teachers.
• Refrain from criticism of the absent biological parent.
• Set a good example through your
own behaviors.
• Support and encourage their positive activities, interests, and goals.
• Take time to talk
with each stepchild - and listen attentively.
• When bewildered, frustrated, or angered by an inability to "connect"
with stepchildren, you may wish to seek professional help. A family therapist or counselor can help you deal with troubling
emotions and offer possible solutions. DO NOT take out your frustrations on the members of your stepfamily. This can harm
the process of building trust and respect with your stepchildren.
• When you think your step-parenting problems are
unique or unsolvable, check around for a step-parenting support group. Other stepparents have dealt with the same or similar
problems that you face. Their support and guidance can be especially helpful.
Author's Bio
Dr. Waln K.
Brown is Founder & CEO of the William Gladden Foundation, a nonprofit organization that conducts research and publishes
information about a variety of youth, family and parenting issues.
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Confidence and inner trust are one and the same in the emotional state. Confidence is your ability to cope and depend upon yourself to create a reality that is dependable. If you
don't have confidence, you will create a reality that you can't depend upon.
i.e.,
You may have faith and trust in others, but if you don't have it in yourself, you are lost.
Trust and acceptance - which go hand in hand, are the most powerful
tools you have, the most potent energy available to you.
When you have confidence - or, trust, within you,
it produces a positive energy that stills doubt, worry, fear and negative expectations. It has a profound effect on you and
others.
Positive energy is more powerful than negative energy.
Just think what would happen, if you trusted all your choices and accepted
all your decisions - you would be successful in just about everything you do.
If you don't trust yourself,
you don't trust others.
If you don't trust
yourself, it shows up in others. In other words, you attract people and situations that you cannot trust.
i.e., Others accept when you know what you are and do is valuable.
The reason you don't trust in yourself and your power,
the reason you don't accept your talents, gifts and abilities like imagination, free will, self love, is because you learned
not to trust, not to accept.
The reason you don't trust yourself is because it's a learned emotion, but the actions of others should not affect
you.
Now - you must change it. Transmute it, reverse it. Go the opposite - and choose
to trust, decide to accept. This is how you get trust
and acceptance into your life again.
If you do not trust and accept yourself and your power, you will not share with your human self the elements that produce
oneness and success, you will not let it in.
It's an issue of lack of self value, lack of self worth and lack of self esteem.
You will never allow yourself to be,
do, or have what you truly need and desire in life, unless you value yourself.
The biggest mistake you can make is trying to earn worth.
Saying; "Someday, I will be worthy". If you spend your life trying to attain it, you will fail.
The human must recognize and understand its worth and value, the importance of its existence in order to use and create with the power that is activated within.
You cannot expect humans to stay together, if life is a continual stream of broken promises.
This includes the inner & outer human too.
If you don't heal this
breach of confidence or inner trust, it leads to what is called shamed based behavior.
Shame cuts you off from all that is real - shame is a learned emotion and when reinforced and internalized, you no longer feel shame, you are shame.
You are not allowed to make mistakes, you are a mistake. You are not forgivable
not only for what you have done, but for who you are.
Eventually, you decide that
you are defective, flawed, or the evil one and in time this destructive energy will do you in.
i.e., People die of shamed based behavior all the time.
It's so important to see this crisis of confidence or inner trust within you and to end it.
Unification, thy name is trust!
Trust is
a unity factor. It unites the human and spirit, power and control, thought, emotion, action and energy. It affects the whole of your being, it causes miracles to happen.
Instead
of searching for trust and acceptance from others, tell yourself you already have it, then
use it, become it.
You have the power to do something special for yourself. What will it be?
The simple solution, is to accept that you
are value in this moment and stop judgement. You must accept the choice, thought, emotion, action, even if a little at first. Accept - this is the way to accept.
It is valuing your personal abilities and what they can give to you - not others.
Trust
is like a two edged sword.
1. Trusting yourself
enough to be, do and have the things you want in life, to create the reality you desire.
2. Trusting yourself not to do the things that create pain and suffering. Self sacrifice, self sabotage,
self punishment. To say no, if it doesn't seem appropriate or right to you, regardless of who and what it is.
If you cannot trust that what you think, say, feel and do is enough, then don't waste your time. Just continue to be a very humanly human - be like everyone
else. This may seem harsh
but most do not understand the devastating damage that this lack of trust in yourself has on you and your life.
Ask yourself;
"What does the issue of trust mean to you? What aspect of self lacks in trust?"
Know this and focus on that specific area - resolve the issue of trust in
the aspect lacking. This is so important.
And remember, don't try to do it all at
once. Trust and accept, even a little at first and you will feel the difference that this
makes in your life.
It's the little things that brings the big things!
Author's Bio
Larry Wayne and Grace Johnston are the co-founders of the "Living In
Power And Wisdom" information, seminars and products. For thirty-five years, they have been teaching others to "Awaken the
God and Goddess Within". Co-authors of "The Gentle Counsel of White Cloud" and "Songs From Spirit". Subscribe to 'The Spiritual
Solution' newsletter or call 1-403-228-0300 to book an appointment for an individual consultation. http://www.livinginpowerandwisdom.com/trust
source page: click here
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