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The True Meaning Of Wisdom By
Mohamed Tohami
Do you want to be a wise man? It is true that being wise is a blessing, but have you ever asked yourself what is the true meaning of wisdom?
If you’re like me, I always pictured a wise man as a very old man with white hair and a long white beard - a pensive man of few words who offered profound,
thought-provoking advice after great deliberation. And I always thought of wisdom itself as ancient, little-known knowledge to be found only in fragile volumes
of yellowed parchment!
But is that truly what wisdom is?
I asked myself that question for quite a while until I finally figured out what I believe is the TRUE answer.
After interviewing more than 100 successful people from all over the world - listening to and recording their success stories and timeless success secrets - I came to believe that every successful person is wise, and he who achieves massive success holds in his mind the true essence of wisdom. Therefore, to find true wisdom, you have to study their lives very closely and search for the clues they’ve left behind.
And here’s what I discovered to be the TRUE meaning of wisdom…
As brilliantly stated by George Bernard Shaw, "We are made wise
not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future."
Being responsible for your life and your future gives you the wisdom you need to fulfill your mission in life. Having a clear vision of your future gives you an unparalleled advantage when it comes to successful decision-making and achieving better results faster.
The truth is, YOU are responsible. This is probably the foremost trait of ultra-successful people. They take responsibility for their futures, and that gives them the power to reach unmatched levels of success. You have to realize this fact now: “No one can change your life but YOU.”
People often tell me that they want a better life - but
when I ask them what their vision of a better life is, they can't answer! Or they simply list some vague, wishy-washy things
like “more money” or “better health.”
You must have a crystal-clear
vision and purpose in your life. Wandering aimlessly through life will not do you any good.
Your
purpose and vision are the real source of wisdom and power. Your purpose is the driving force that fires your motivation, gives you a sense of meaning, and holds you up to your dreams.
The true meaning of wisdom lies in taking responsibility for your future and having a clear purpose in your life.
As Stephen Covey says,
"Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power."
To be a truly wise
man you need to do three vital things:
1. Take responsibility for your own future, because no one else can be held responsible for improving your life. It is yours, and nothing will change unless you take the lead!
2. Develop a clear vision of
your future. Eliminate vague wishes and develop specific goals. Exactly how much money do you need? What kind of “better job” are you looking for? How do you define “better health?” Be crystal clear.
Remember, you can't manifest what you can't see.
3. Take
action. Be bold and create your destiny with your own hand. You might listen to thousands of tapes and read all the books in the world, but nothing will change until you take action.
Wisdom is the ability to see your future clearly and to craft
a legacy that will make you live forever in the hearts and memories of others. Wisdom is
the ability to make a difference and bring value to the world to make it a better place. Wisdom is the ability to live with purpose, know
who you truly are, and mine your own diamonds.
Now, are you ready to become THE wise man?
Author's Bio: Mohamed Tohami uncovers the success wisdom of the ages to help you transform your life from making a
living to making a difference. Find out more about the 70 ultra successful people who are spilling the beans about how they
achieved their success, built their empires and live the life of their dreams at: http://www.Success-Avalanche.com



Thought Leaders By Mike Myatt, Top CEO Coach, author "Leadership Matters...The CEO Survival Manual"
"Thought Leaders" seem to be everywhere these days..What is a thought leaders and what does thought leadership mean in today’s business world? In my opinion a
thought leader is not someone who simply restates someone else’s views and positions.
From my perspective a thought leader is someone who has their own views and positions that largely differ from established norms
and conventions. Moreover, the true litmus test of a thought leader is when their unique ideas are implemented in the marketplace they tend to create disruptive
innovation, and often change the way we view the world. In the text that follows I’ll examine the subject of thought
leadership in an attempt to separate fact from fiction…
It is certainly much easier
to look back in time at world leaders, Nobel laureates, religious scholars, philosophers, and captains of industry to identify
historical thought leaders than it is to identify today’s visionaries. This is simply due to the fact that thought leadership
was once a term reserved for a limited few.
Regrettably the label of thought leader has evolved to become a self-bestowed title for anyone who has something to say or promote,
often without regard for qualitative issues. Some would say that the term thought leader, once synonymous with futurist and innovator, is more closely aligned with snake-oil salesman
today. Don’t get me wrong, true thought leaders still exist; they are just much harder to spot these days.
Let me begin by stating that authentic thought leaders, the real deals, are not created via great
marketing and PR alone. While they are oft published, quite outspoken, and many times represented by marvelous publicists,
they are not merely contrived, self-promoted legends in their own minds.
Rather true thought leaders are born out of real-world successes, achievements, and contributions that have been recognized by their peers and competitors alike. Their work is widely regarded
as being innovative, disruptive and market altering. They are not the posers, but the players…They are not spin masters
trying to make it, but are the undisputed market leaders that have already arrived.
It is
important to draw a distinction between personal or corporate branding and thought leadership. While thought leaders often become well recognized brands, there are many well crafted brands that have messaged
thought leadership where none exists.
Don’t allow yourself to get caught-up in the spin and hype associated with
great marketers who will gladly accept compensation, but will leave you woefully disappointed when it comes to living-up to
their billing. Look for real results based upon market leadership and not just brand leadership alone.
The best example I can give you about discerning the difference between brand leaders and thought leaders is that of large consulting companies. I would challenge the brand perception that IBM
or Accenture are the true thought leaders in their sector. I would submit that you will find the true innovation and thought
leadership taking place at the smaller consultancies.
In fact I’ll go so far
as to say that there is almost an inverse relationship between size and thought leadership in that the bigger a company is,
the less likely they are to be innovators. Rather it is those firms chasing the big brands, who must innovate to survive,
that often employ today’s thought leaders.
Over the course of my career I have walked into many businesses that were branded
as market leaders that hadn’t come up with a new idea for years. The fact of the matter is that the more institutional
a firm becomes the harder it is to maintain an entrepreneurial edge driven by a culture of innovation.
I recently read an article by Fiona Czerniawska entitled “Thought Leadership: Are You Making It or Faking
It?” and while finding it to be quite an interesting read, my perspective although similar to hers in many respects
still differs substantially…Fiona’s article dissects the subject of thought leadership as it applies to large
consulting firms and this is where we differ.
While she calls many current practices into question, I tend to go much further in
that my belief is that big consulting firms are the farthest thing from thought leaders. The legions of twenty and thirty-something
consultants employed by McKinsey, Bain, Booz Allen Hamilton etc. haven’t lived long enough to even form their own thoughts
much less become thought leaders…
As Fiona so accurately points out, the large
consulting firms often label themselves as thought leaders (strike one…),
repurpose generic materials across industries and sectors and spin “old” as “innovative” (can you say best practices? strike two…) and they have regrettably become pimps of mass
merchandised mediocrity (strike three…).
As noted above, espousing “best practices” propaganda has nothing to do with thought leadership,
but has everything to do with creating mediocrity (see “The Downside of Best
Practices”).
What I have witnessed time and again is that these purported
thought leaders have in reality weakened businesses, damaged brands, and commoditized competitive advantages for many entities, which ultimately adversely impacts their profitability and sustainability. I know my perspective
may appear jaded, but I’m so tired of reading the drivel of people that don’t have anything unique to say, who
have been deemed as brilliant up-and-comers that I just want to scream…
I have nothing
against the term thought leader and am honored when I’ve been referred to as such. However it is my opinion the label should be reserved as an honor to be given to a few, and not a title to be adopted by the masses. Dilution has
the opposite effect of scarcity in that it diminishes value. Can you remember when the title of Vice President or Managing
Director actually meant something? I can…
Bottom line…judge people on
their actions and results, not their rhetoric. Don’t accept conventional wisdom as
gospel unless you can validate proof of concept, and then only accept it if you can innovate with it, or around it. Challenge everything in business by
looking to improve upon the status quo and differentiate yourself from your competition. I don’t advise my clients to adopt the practices of their peers, but rather to be disruptive with their innovation
such that they create or widen market gaps between themselves and their peers.
Author's Bio: Mike Myatt, is a Top CEO Coach and author of "Leadership Matters...The CEO Survival Manual". As one of America's top CEO Coaches, Mr. Myatt is a sought after
professional advisor known for his refreshing and straight forward approach to business and his tireless efforts in serving
his clients. As an executive Mike Myatt has held numerous C-suite positions, as an entrepreneur he has been a principal in
4 successful ventures and as a professional advisor he has worked with clients ranging from successful professionals to Fortune
100 companies.
Some of Mr. Myatt's accomplishments prior to serving as Managing Director and Chief Strategy Officer
at N2growth include serving as President and COO of a commercial real estate investment bank, Managing Director of a law firm,
Director of Internet Strategy for the country's largest web enablement firm and he founded what is today one of the country’s
leading interactive advertising agencies.
source site: click here



Wisdom, Not Information! By Emil-Paul Dopson
I continue to be disturbed
by the lemming-like rush into oblivion over the fashionable craving for information. With the booming growth of the Internet
facts are just a click away. Sufficient to say that information, and much of it just trivial and useless, abounds.Our media
cannot get enough dirty underwear.
Almost weekly we read of
the most amazing breakthroughs in science and technology. We can get so excited when media reinforces such excitement, and
for a while we might imagine things will be better. But our expectations are quickly frustrated and we relapse into the doldrums.We
remain unsatisfied.
Why? Because we often give our time, priority and value to the
wrong things. We allow others to set the agenda for us and we might simply go along with it because we're presented with something
new and which adds a sort of our necessary need for variety.
Often, anything is better
than nothing. Like children on summer vacation, we are lazy and have have forgotten our genius for invention and self-amusement.
We live in an age where we continually expect to be entertained because reality is too hard to bear! Well, the bad news is
that reality will continue to get harder as we continue to make the wrong choices. Why do we not publicly celebrate the breakthroughs
in the human heart and soul? Why are our newspapers and conversations not filled with compliments rather than malicious gossip?
We are the unwise-intelligents; the savant stupids.We buy personal development books by the warehouse, but little
changes. Strategies abound, yet the core information we have about ourselves stops any long-term progress because we continue
to upload and download rather than offload.
We talk of "getting real" as if we truly understood what the term means,
while we explore avenues which take us further away from where we should be. Unable to discern the real from the counterfeit,
we operate our hamster-like treadmills at at accelerating pace until we come off or the wheel breaks! This is the destination
of too much useless information within us.
There is a link between fulfillment and knowledge. We have to start making
some critical choices regarding why we keep getting things wrong as individuals and societies. Why, for instance we can talk
to each other through a box or a handset while thousands of miles apart, yet we cannot be civil and loving with each in the
same room other. Technology continues to amaze us with its ability to sing and dance, and yet it is accelerating away from
our real needs at lightening speed. To paraphrase Dr. Martin Luther King, our technology continues to escape our secular and
counterfeit theologies.
The truth is we already have all the information we need in order to become more compassionate,
settled and loving.It has been around for thousands of years, but we esteem it lightly because we are not courageous enough
to live well and for each other. Spiritually, we have not yet evolved beyond a stumbling toddlerhood; like "cool" teenagers
we continue to think we know more than we do, yet could learn.
Having entered a new millennium
in the year 2000 or 2001 - whichever you prefer - the truth is that our expectations for a better world continue to be unrealized, primarily because our visions are flawed, selfish and materially based!
Immersed in the thick of thin things,
we just manage to keep our lips above what threatens to suck us down. We want more, but know not what is best for us, so we choose more of what already exists and which is easily
available: things, and in all of its material categories.
If we do not learn from the mistakes
of the past we are not only doomed to relive them at a more terrifying and destructive intensity, but we are doomed
to teach them to our children, born and unborn. We speak of values and yet do not question if they are the right ones to have, or whether they are tainted or diluted from their pure forms.
We use language without realising its power to build or obliterate. We are far too careless with our lives.
Over the past few decades we have embraced self-help as a religion but fail to see its real foundation
is based on helping others and a fierce commitment to virtue, despite what the crowd says. A better life will not come if
we are not prepared personally and as a group of responsible and selfless workers to wear out our lives by thinking and doing
good.
And this is where we encounter the real difference between information and
wisdom: information will only tell you about opinions, theories and the little we know of
what exists; wisdom, or the guiding truths of experience, will enable and empower each of us to make better choices so that we can use our passions to create and sustain
rather than to destroy.
We need no longer preserve a tenuous
status-quo which continues to go nowhere, despite the illusory trappings of progress. Ultimately, we must choose between facts or timeless values. It will take time and an expression of our deepest concerns to step back from the precipice and ask questions such as: What
is right? What is the best for all of us? How can we stay focused on the good?
We must
truly begin to ask whether information will nourish us rather than, like hay, merely fill our bellies. Are we better
off using our pooled resources on developing what we most need, or pursue what is possible, but cosmetic and useless?
We do not need to look for the answers "out there" because they already exist within us. However
small the flame within, it still burns. If only we dare to listen and do what the deepest parts of us already know. We cannot any longer afford not to learn vicariously from the lives and
guiding principles which have either blessed or cursed the centuries. We can no longer afford not to choose a better way,
nor can we "cop out" of not choosing, because no choice is always a choice!
What will the
future bring? Whatever you decide? The future history of everything depends on what you choose to learn and live by.
Whether you choose the "safety" of not getting involved with wider life issues or maintaining what you have until you die will make the difference. Or not.
What and how you process what comes into your secret, private, public and global
life is immensely important to you as well as to those you know or who you may never meet. You can learn or let, serve or
sit. But realize there is a moral dimension to everything and that you are also part of history. Future information will include
or omit your presence. Wisdom will decide whether you did or didn't do the right thing.
Meanwhile, information will continue to flood our small planet with much of which
is superfluous, distractive, destructive and needless. It is the relentless child of an age of arrogance which spans thousands
of years of cruelty, inferior progress and needless suffering.
Wisdom has been around at
least as long and teaches us about morality, or how we should treat each other.Often seen as something pretentious or unnecessary,
it is our truest friend and combines the best of both head and heart.
Seek after it.
Appreciate its difference from mere information. Learn from it. Fall in love with it. Live it and live for it in the creation of a better
life for you and your world and it will serve you well as you as you serve those around you.
Author's
Bio: I'm a motivational
human resource trainer who is passionate about people and organizations demonstrating co-operation and creativity. My
background is academic (Philosophy and psychology) and for the past 20 years I've been involved in training and motivational speaking.
Please
contact me at Upward123@hotmail.com with any feedback / comments.
source site: click here



Dangerous Narcissism - Wisdom From The Fulfillment Forum
by Jard DeVille
ACTORS ALL - I MYSELF - ALONE When life fails to bring us consistent satisfaction, when our weaknesses withhold from us the ego satisfaction we crave, most persons create fantasies that ease the pain caused by the near universal life-style dilemma of uncertainty.
This allows each fearful person to protect his or her precious soul from suffering without exercising a great deal of effort.
Some people cling
to self-defeating attitudes, activities and relationships that offer short-term gains, while sacrificing the long range benefits
only a maturing life-style provides. Our self imposed repressions and denials keep us from learning what we really need in order to live a consistently liberating life.
Spiritually minded adults
who are maturing beyond their anxieties and self-deceptions have learned from our terrible 20th century disasters that existence
is seldom simple. Unfortunately, psycho-spiritually immature persons avoid that reality of life like the plague, fervently
hoping that denying everything unpleasant will deliver them from their problems. Winston Churchill, England’s great
war time prime minister, muttered in disgust when he was trying desperately to get his people to prepare for the attack by
Adolph Hitler’s Germany:
The average man simply cannot tolerate the truth. And should he inadvertently stumble over it, he immediately hurries away lest it force him to discard the delusions with
which he comforts himself.
Around 1910, Arthur Conan
Doyle, creator of the Sherlock Holmes mysteries I enjoyed so much as a boy, was also the author of several serious historical papers. He reported that the European nations had become so civilized they would never again resort to war to
solve their differences. He really believed with most Victorian and Edwardian Britons that humans are rational beings who
automatically make the most responsible choices for themselves and for society. It was this naive belief in rationality that
helped cause such a negative reaction to Freud and his followers who demonstrated beyond dispute that a great many persons
across Europe were simmering kettles of irrationality, yearning to fall violently on one another personally and nationally.
Most physicians, ministers and philosophers considered the early psychologists lunatics to even hint that rational Europeans
carried within themselves disastrous anxieties, hatreds and ambitions they keep hidden from consciousness.
As Kipling would say, perhaps
strangers such as Chinese, Americans and Frenchmen might be neurotic, but never proper English gentlemen! Actually Doyle’s
Edwardian England was a hotbed of neuroticism and psychosis, and Continental Europe was even worse.

Freud was right, of course, for within forty years after Doyle’s
prediction, his rational, responsible world had fought World War I and World War II, endured the Holocaust and begun a half
century long financially and spiritually devastating Cold War. As usual, there was little ordinary men and women could do
to keep their commercial, political and military abusers from slaughtering a hundred million persons across the twentieth
century.
Unfortunately, few of us made a serious effort to stop them - which for
me verifies the fact that we do indeed contain within our hearts and minds the narcissistic seeds of greed and violence we
deny through the ultimate lie. This lie is the myth that men and women are mostly cool and calm persons who would live at
peace were it not for a few wicked abusers who disturb the peace.
We, the citizens of Western Civilization, failed miserably to behave responsibly
as we followed ruthless manipulators who promised us revenge on and loot from those evil savages who competed with us from
across first the Rhine and later the Vistula Rivers. Look, the most vicious abusers always find some enemy through which they
harness many naïve cultural neurotics to do their bidding, to slaughter one another for the benefit of some ruthless and egoistic
aristocracy.

J.R.R. Tolkien, the eccentric
Oxford University don ended his magnificent LORD OF THE RINGS saga with some sound advice for humans troubled by wounded egos. He had Gandalf the wizard admonish the hobbits Pippin and Merry to be modest when they return home as national heroes. After
many adventures they’d met with fortitude and courage, in which the peaceful little shire-folk defeated the overwhelming
forces of Sauron, their wise old comrade told them to remain modest.
They must remember, he said,
they are after all only very small chaps in a vast and dangerous Middle Earth. Pippin and Merry laughed from the depths of
their earthy hobbit souls and agreed with Gandalf. One hobbit said not to worry, he became heroic and bold only under protest,
only when forced into battle by desperate circumstances. Actually, he’d rather be home writing books on family history
than treading the paths of glory which he’d found led many comrades to the grave.
The
other hobbit sighed and said; Alas, we Tooks and Brandybucks cannot live comfortably on the heights with the kings and
nobles of Middle Earth.
They quickly tired of fame’s
limelight; both wanted to go home and operate their farms in the lush green fields of the Shire with their loved ones. Hobbits
have always shown excellent judgment; they spend most of their time growing and consuming as much good food as possible.

We are all beset by challenges
that frustrate us consistently in an age when an act as simple as driving on a freeway requires a life or death decision every
sixty seconds. Politicians are ruthlessly destroying our beloved Republic, creating a wicked American Empire in which one
percent of our citizens control ninety percent of the nation’s wealth.
Corporations destroy three
million American careers every year through downsizing and out sourcing, dishonesty abounds in many places, millions of Americans
are addicted to narcotics and terrorism is on the increase. We have only recently come through the Cold War with the threat
of mass annihilation waved constantly as a red flag by politicians to manipulate us.
Millions of Americans can
remember crouching under their school desks, fearful that each alert would bring a nuclear holocaust. Teachers and principals
everywhere were in turmoil. I was teaching science while in graduate school at the University of Cincinnati and we teachers
were powerless to change anything the Military / Industrial Complex and its political lackeys saddled us with in order to
stop the spread of collective ownership of the world‘s resources.
Unfortunately, all
humans are self-centered to a greater or a lesser degree. I can think of no more striking example of narcissistic selfishness
than the problems Mr. Clinton brought on himself, his family and his government through sexual encounters with women drawn
like moths to the flame by his power and prestige. Even after his public relations disasters with Gennifer Flowers and Paula
Jones, he used Monica Lewinsky for his own ego satisfaction. How egoistic he was! What on earth made him think a twenty-two
year old girl would keep secret a sexual relationship with the world’s most powerful man? Didn’t he realize his
political enemies understood his sexual compulsions well enough to anticipate another fall from grace they could exploit?
In the book HUNTING THE PRESIDENT the author reveals Clinton’s enemies had already financed Paula Jones’ lawsuit
and chosen Kenneth Starr, a rabid Clinton hater for his defeating the first President Bush, as special prosecutor to attack
him and still Mr. Clinton considered himself invulnerable. The egoistic use of power often overwhelms our judgment and causes
us many problems. Gennifer Flowers quipped, That boy just doesn’t learn! Actually, he’s quite like many men and
women who are narcissistic in their outlook. Gary Hart, a Colorado senator aspiring to the presidency, challenged the media
to catch him with a woman beside his wife if they could. Unfortunately for his ambition, some reporters could and did, taking
photos of him with Donna Rice on his lap while cruising aboard the launch Monkey Business and he had to drop out of the campaign
and leave politics. A little modesty about one’s power can go a long ways toward survival in our relationships. Martha
Stewart was egoistic and proud enough to assume she was above the law and paid a steep ego and financial price.

We bring many problems on
ourselves through our selfishness. Humans are so narcissistic that we give ourselves the benefit of every doubt, thinking
ourselves superior and deserving more privileges than the common folk. The world revolves around I - MYSELF ALONE!
And then we repress and
deny everything that causes problems and pain. Gandalf’s advice is good for us also. At best, we are temporal creatures
who live briefly on the bubble of existence, although we normally ignore our vulnerability so long as health and wealth lasts. We remain only actors, Shakespeare said, pretending and strutting on the stage, speaking
our few lines and vanishing into the wings as understudies take over our precious roles.
Nevertheless, despite our
limitations, each person whether woman or man, instinctively and automatically feels like the protagonist in the play - the
central character around whom the action swirls, who deserves the lion’s share of the applause. All those lesser characters
at the edges of the drama really should defer to us. That seems only right, for we can stand on life’s stage, swing
our eyes around and see that I - MYSELF ALONE appears to be the only person in the midst of the action.
We want to believe, if we
will honestly admit it, that we are at the center of the Cosmos with everyone else waiting at the edges. And herein comes
one great persisting tragedy for individuals, families, communities and entire cultures.

Very little about women
and men is painted in pure black and white colors. A great many aspects of life come in shades of gray, somewhere between
holy sainthood and ruthless deviltry. Humans should try to get along with a modicum of decency and satisfaction, at least until we are frustrated to distraction, frightened badly and feel we must fight to preserve our self-esteem, our
possessions, our pleasure or our power to function without domination by another person.
Therefore, while I write about
narcissism and self-esteem, about our desire to win respect from our peers, to become someone of significance, that also comes
in many shades of gray. You may yearn to become the very best, most loving and competent nurse in Cook County Hospital. That
is a noble ambition while also assuring us of continuing respect from friends and esteem about ones self.
We all need to receive esteem,
even if it’s only as the best neighborhood Martian slayer on the latest video game, so we almost all try to make ourselves
look somewhat better than we really are. This is as normal as human narcissism gets. On the other hand, the Mafia don who
wants the most respect within his “family” - which is another way of saying he demands fear from his subordinates
- or a ruthless business manager who will cheat employees, suppliers and contractors to promote his or her wealth, is searching
for dominance rather than esteem. This is certain to create distrust, resentment and attempts by others to restore some balance
of power.But nothing is simple!

NATURE’S NASTY TWIST
Narcissism, when it gets
out of hand. is an example homosapien selfishness, is usually dangerous and often fatal, leading us to lust inordinately for power, prestige, possessions and pleasure. Sigmund
Freud who wrote long after Jesus’ time, reorganized the Biblical concept of mammon in classic terms.
Freud used the ancient Greek
myth of Narcissus, who was so enamored with his own beauty that he died while admiring it, to explain our often overwhelming
fixation with ourselves and our schemes. He coined the phrase narcissism to identify this condition that causes such devastation
at so many times and places where humans interact.
Our virtually universal narcissistic
drive to be superior - to appear more important than anyone else, to seize possessions and power and prestige over others,
is arguably the major cause of human conflicts and most crippling disasters that follow.
Massive human problems come
from our yearning to make everyone else subservient to egoistic I - MYSELF ALONE. This lusting after possessions, power, prestige
and pleasure, when it gets out of hand, is at the root of almost all individual, group and national conflicts.
This universal craving for existential
significance became embedded in our psyches as a survival element during our primordial ancestors’ struggles as fangless
little hominids who made convenient meals for the big carnivores on the wild African savannah.
Because they could neither
run fast nor fight fiercely, those with the greatest narcissism were more likely to survive and pass their genes on to a family
group that carried them eventually to us. Those that didn’t run and grasp and hoard what they needed, who didn’t
become paranoid enough to sacrifice their peers so they could escape, were less likely to survive.
Their genes were lost to us.
Now, a few million years later, each of us is still determined not to be ignored, devalued or deprived of our right to self-esteem,
our right to dominate those lesser creature-selves around us.
From that egoistic lust for
superiority, arises the bloody history of our violent race. Disaster comes often because the people and societies we yearn
to dominate feel precisely the same way about us. As in the endless Balkan and African conflicts, people are almost always
on a collision course with persons, organizations and nations that are equally willing to use others for their own benefit.
Of course, each group rationalizes its violence as being caused by those evil strangers across the valley who threaten their
own righteous and holy way of life. Obviously, we humans virtually always deny bringing conflicts down on ourselves. We are
always tempted to blame others for our problems so we can justify our attacks, can feel good about sacrificing our young people
to teach the enemy of the decade a lesson about challenging us. George W. Bush never makes a speech without praising the young
American fighting men and women while ruthlessly cutting the Veteran’s Affairs budget just as the flood of casualties
from his wars need the most help. He also constantly condemns the ruthless villains who attack and frustrate the good and
righteous American way of dominating the world. After all, most humans feel that I MYSELF - ALONE absolutely do deserve the
best in life. This narcissistic fantasy that each of us is superior to the rest of humankind and more deserving is buried
deep in our unconscious from where it oozes out in crucial times and places. This nasty twist of human nature has complicated
life more and more for us.
I realize that in order to
cope with 21st century challenges, humans must become bold and courageous. We need to be brave in the presence of adversity
- to live as strong men and women when most ordinary souls like Tolkien’s hobbits wanted only to be left alone to make
a living and rear a family.
The human experience has never
been easy, in fact it is always fatal eventually. Unfortunately, reactionary persons, those with too strong a defense system
who cling to the past, always feel that society is at a crossroads, that nations can be saved only through a rebirth of the
heroic self-sufficiency their ancestors supposedly nurtured. I challenge that simplistic assumption for one major reason.
The so called lost Golden Age of America, from just after our Civil War until the Vietnamese War,
was golden mostly for affluent white males. Everyone else had to take what the powerful robber barons didn’t want. Unfortunately
financial abusers are like the Wyoming Rancher during the range wars who said he only wanted what was his - and what was next
to it!
With one or two percent of
contemporary Americans owning some ninety percent of the nation’s wealth, they pretty much have it all! In my youth,
multitudes of families lived in abject poverty as the novels GRAPES OF WRATH and GOD’S LITTLE ACRE revealed so poignantly.
I know, I was there at the time, so don’t try to fool me with half truths and ruthless ideologies. I remember the ragged,
barefoot kids in school, the fights with the greedy aristocracy who opposed school lunch programs, free books and school buses
as communistic in nature.
I remember President Hoover
sending the U. S. cavalry against fathers pleading for food for their children. And the glee of the generals who were laughing
and joking when they were ordered to attack the rabble. A huge percentage of families endured severe hardships while trying
to survive. And regardless of the myths many reactionary preachers and primitive politicians concoct, in order to frighten
people into pulling their chestnuts from the fire, life really became much better for many persons.
Only now, those benefits are
being taken away by a wicked consortium of financial neo-fascists, reactionary political neo-cons and fundamental religious
neo-zealots who are moving heaven and earth to crush everything decent and to deliver the nation back into the ruthless hands
of the robber barons who have arisen again through Global Capitalism and the outright bribery of our politicians.
Many more persons of both
genders and families of all creeds and races did better financially than at any previous time in American history. The rascals
who deny this are either idiots or are yearning for a return to a white, male dominated society. Even the radical preachers
protesting loudest about our liberal society, who keep trying to recreate that white, male controlled culture of the past
because they are selfish white men, are fixated almost exclusively on material things. They hate sharing their power, prestige and possessions with
women of all races and with men of color. To state it bluntly, the blatant narcissists want to steal everything they can haul
away. That is the way their mind-sets operate, this is where their core values lead them, although they use clever propaganda
to persuade the naive with their own clamoring anxieties, that they are working for patriotic or spiritual reasons when they
are working for I MYSELF -- ALONE.
Nevertheless,
going through the challenge of earning an education, building a career, nurturing a marriage and rearing a family while maturing,
does require strength and courage. I know of no easy way to become a maturing person. I believe it is this reality that led
early psychologist William James to call for human heroism on our often dangerous pilgrimage through life, for we are all
bedeviled by selfish yearnings. Most of the scholars I draw from agree that many humans are frequently crippled by our universally self-centered
traits that get out of control.
When it is uncontrolled, narcissism
keeps every community and civilization boiling with frustration and aggression. Two cultures demonstrated this quite clearly.
Our anti-bellum southern aristocratic men wore their egos on their sleeves, quarreling and dueling at the drop of a perceived
insult. Imperial Germany and Spain were even worse - the haughty posturing of men and women is very obvious in old black and
white photographs from the era. They struggled to win heroic significance for themselves and their social classes.
What do we yearn for and whom shall
we sacrifice to get it? How powerful are the motives that flog us onward in our desire to become significant? How completely
do the aristocrats in our communities shape our opportunities - with their wealth being used to control politicians and the
criminal justice establishment and to finance the propaganda systems that stack the deck for themselves? How can we save the
American Republic?
We all try to conceal our character flaws by finding clever ways
to justify them. Not long ago my wife and I were waiting in a checkout line that had stalled when an elderly woman needed
to exchange a purchase and several twenty year old youths successively paid their bills by writing checks for under three
dollars. I started muttering and Roberta poked me. Take a walk before you embarrass me, she whispered. I left and when she
came out a few minutes later, she was laughing. We’ve been married half a century and she still has the ability to surprise
and delight me. Naturally, she can see right through my facades - but she loves me anyway! I sometimes wonder why. She told
me in her unique fashion;
It was your old egoistic need for existential significance
acting up again. You just couldn’t stand having a line of simple folk slow down a world-class antique motorcycle restorer
and community theater actor could you?
Not a word about my books because she fights
fair. I grinned wryly in agreement but protested to protect my ego.
Well, I am not
alone -- I have plenty of company out here. Indeed I do and while I know these concepts
well enough to write about them, I too have a need for esteem within my soul. I would even appreciate a little cosmic worth
from time to time. And so would you! So does everyone and that yearning sometimes runs wild in every society. Few events demonstrate
this narcissistic selfishness in action more clearly than the constant battling in Serbia, Indonesia and among many African
tribes.
In his book MEIN KAMPF, the
arch-villain Adolph Hitler described very well the frustrated narcissism gnawing at Germany’s resentful people after
that nation’s defeat in World War I. After a century as Europe’s bully boy, Germany was reduced to poverty and
hunger, even eating their cats and dogs to survive, calling the cats roof rabbits. Europe’s aristocrats would have done
well to learn from him rather than dismiss Hitler as an ignorant rabble-rouser who deserved their contempt. They’d always
issued orders and docile corporals saluted and said:
By your leave, Sir. Some of
Europe’s powerful died on meat hooks and in gas chambers because they failed to see that Hitler’s lust for power
and prestige was every bit as great as their own. However, the slain aristocratic elite were a minority. They always are as
narcissism often triumphs over ethics, morality and spirituality.

Many more, like most French, Lithuanian, Belgium, Swiss
and Italian aristocrats, sold their souls to retain their possessions, power and prestige. The French House of Deputies enacted
every cruel law Germany wanted, betraying their Jewish citizens to Gestapo death squads who were enthusiastically supported by the local police.
The French government deliberately
delivered their own demobilized soldiers into four years of slave labor in Nazi factories and sold working class girls as
prostitutes in German troop brothels. Not their own children, of course, who avoided the terror by hanging out on the Cote
d’ Azure during the war years, but the sons and daughters of the working families over whom they had power.
Then, when France and the
other nations were delivered from German tyranny, the politicians immediately repressed everything evil they’d done.
To this day the ruthless abusers of France and Belgium have seldom been brought to justice - the entire French government
repressed its cooperation with the Germans. Everyone pretended he or she had fought in the resistance when only a very few
ordinary men and women actively opposed the Germans.
Only
late in 1999 did the French government pass laws that would return confiscated Jewish property to the children and grandchildren
of the original owners.
The guilt of being traitors
to French civilization was hidden so deep within their collective unconscious for decades that France officially insisted
there was no stolen property to return. Few of the European aristocrats and their police enforcers were like the brave people
of Denmark and Bulgaria who held steady to their values to battle the Germans. The Danish and the Bulgarian police were the only European cops who collectively chose to support their own people rather than betray them.
They organized the resistance
underground, saving virtually all Danish and Bulgarian Jews and freezing in place two Wehrmacht heavy weapons infantry divisions
needed badly by the Germans in Normandy on D-Day. It is quite likely that those twenty-five thousand additional troops on
the bluffs over Omaha Beach would have swept the D-Day invasion force of Britons and Americans into the sea and left Europe
under the conqueror’s heel.
In other words --
While all humans are genetically and emotionally tempted to be selfish and narcissistic enough to cause conflicts and wars, if we live with ethical virtues and spiritual values, of the kind that Moses, Jesus, Buddha and Mohammed taught, if we lay aside our contrived self-deceptions, we can live far
more peacefully within ourselves and among others. We can enjoy meaningful activities in places of the heart where we belong
with the people with whom we share love and acceptance.
Author's Bio: Jard DeVille has published more than a score of psychology books, seminars
and psychological assessment instruments. His book NICE GUYS FINISH FIRST was a powerful best seller. THE PSYCHOLOGY OF LEADERSHIP
was New American Library's offering in their Executive Development Series. Visit www.fulfillmentforum.com for Free Ebooks and Ebiz
source site: click here



Latent Wisdom: Discovering What You Know by Richard F. Liotta, Ph.D
I believe that most people know more than they acknowledge or utilize effectively in living their lives. This latent wisdom has been alluded to, partially,
by various notions including “trust your gut” and “pay attention to your intuition.” It also appears in those moments when you just automatically respond to a situation successfully and later wonder, “How did I do that?” The fact is we often hide our latent wisdom
from ourselves. We do not use the resources, skills, talents, and good judgment that we have learned in living our lives. We ignore our latent wisdom.
For example, if someone feels
that they lack self-confidence they are most likely not tapping the knowledge they have inside most productively. Most people have had experiences where
they behaved confidently, whether they acknowledged this to themselves or not. In this case the latent wisdom may be hidden in your experience.
The first step is to discover memories of times where you behaved with confidence, certainty, and resolve (even if only briefly). Most people with low self-confidence can find such instances inside; and these examples must be acknowledged and recognized as the examples they are if they are to facilitate living more effectively now.
Our latent wisdom can be obscured by many things. Sometimes we focus on the
counter-examples, those times when we did not behave confidently. So how we sort the data we have about ourselves is critical. Even the most confident people do not always behave confidently! Sometimes how we define or categorize our behavior to ourselves clouds the learning we could have taken from what we did,
thought, or felt. We are left with a self-description, such as “I am not a confident person,” and forget the details of what we actually did. There are often lessens to be learned by remembering the details
and considering other, kinder, interpretations. Often the conclusions we made about ourselves long ago are no longer valid;
reexamine your assumptions and latent wisdom can emerge.
Latent
wisdom is also often not noticed because people do not trust themselves, their perceptions, and their feelings. They may know but actively try to squelch the feeling. I have often seen this in people who rationalize being in a bad relationship. The failure to see the obvious, to miss the signs, and the failure to notice “the writing on the wall” often occurs in painful relationships. Here the latent
wisdom that the other person will not change, for example, is hidden by our wish that things will change or that they will return to how they once seemed to be. Tenaciously holding onto to what we wish could be can distort reality
and bury the wisdom within! The lies we tell ourselves, while well intended, mute the voice
of reason and perspective. Look beyond that, hear your wise mind, and feel what you know
and your latent wisdom can emerge.
Latent wisdom
has many forms. It is usually expressed to consciousness by both a feeling and clarity of thought, though this may not be
the only form it can take. Look for it inside yourself. Consider the fact that it is within you as you meditate, reflect, and discuss things with those close to you. Examine yourself from different perspectives. Consider whether your
beliefs about yourself serve you. Consider what your feelings tell you and which passing thoughts may be worthy of attention. Shake the foundation, just a little, and be not surprised when latent wisdom
reveals itself and becomes manifest wisdom.
Author's Bio I am a Psychologist with more than 20 years of experience. I am also
Certified Trainer of both Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Ericksonian Hypnosis. Currently I devote most of my time to being
a psychotherapist, hypnotherapist, consultant, trainer, and writer. Recently we (with my spouse Rosemary Lake-Liotta, L.C.S.W.)
launched a Blog, www.changepathsblog.com, to offer information and inspiration to people seeking to change paths and improve their
lives. We also own Enrichment Associates Consultation & Training (www.enrichmentact.com). As a Trainer of NLP and Ericksonian Hypnosis, my areas of expertise include resource
enrichment skills, rapid change methodologies, peak performance, success strategies, and communication. See more on my expert
page.
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What is wisdom? For one, it is something that is valued in virtually all cultures throughout the world and throughout the ages wise people lead
the way to a deeper understanding of life.
Wisdom is not about having mere knowledge. It’s much beyond that and in many
ways knowledge itself is not even necessary to have wisdom. Wisdom
is an inner understanding that often contradicts intellectual knowledge.
Wisdom is almost always beyond the
obvious and the conventional. When we recognize a great wisdom it is as if we see ‘a light’ inside our minds – a special feeling inside which leads us to a greater understanding. Wisdom is not something you attain as much as it is something you grow into. For most
of us wisdom is synonymous with an old man and a long flowing grey beard. Although it is
true that wisdom comes with age, you don’t need to be old to be wise.
For me all great wisdom is spiritual by nature. All great insights into life are insights that transcends the physical world and our mere observations. It’s metaphysical (beyond
the physical) and therefore it often contradicts conventional thinking.
Wisdom is about seeing past the obvious appearances of things. When you do this you
cannot help but to recognize something bigger and greater at work behind everything in life. This great invisible force that some call God is not confined
to spiritual thinkers, but is the very force of life that flows through everything.
The true meaning of wisdom is having an intimate knowledge of God and the spiritual and metaphysical dimension that will help you see past the appearances of things to reveal
a greater meaning behind it all. In Dr. Wayne Dyer’s 10 Secrets For Success And Inner Peace, he offers a great insight into wisdom. One of his secrets for success and inner peace is a definition for wisdom. He says that wisdom
is avoiding all thoughts that weaken you.
Every thought you have will either strengthen or weaken you. On this deeper metaphysical level of life, your thoughts create your life. Having the ability to ‘see’ and to realize this is what wisdom
is really about. Virtually every spiritual text refers to the power of thought and how we create our lives through our thoughts. This great law, the Law Of Attraction is a controlling law in the universe that dictates what we attract and create in our lives.
Learning to
distinguish and then to avoid the thoughts that weaken you will give you a greater sense of power and authentic energy in your life. Weak thoughts like anger, hate and jealousy always weaken you because it requires a counter force. Thoughts of love, peace and joy will only strengthen you because it never takes anything from you – it only ‘adds’
to you. In this sense wisdom will allow you to enjoy a greater sense of inner peace and it will help you to move right past conflict and confrontation.
So often we focus on what’s wrong in our lives in an attempt
to ‘fix’ it. What wisdom teaches us is to shift from what’s wrong, to
what’s right. Carl Jung once said that “what you resist persists” – wise words from a wise man who
understood that what you think about, will only recreate itself in your life experience.
The true meaning of wisdom
is to have the insight that’s beyond the obvious. It’s learning to see that beyond the surface level of life experiences, there is something
greater and bigger at work. This invisible (yet knowable) life force is
intimately connected to you and your thoughts.
What you think about expands in your life and learning to avoid that which weakens you will allow you to cultivate your own authentic power and ultimately create for yourself the kind of life you really want to live.
Author's Bio: www.illumen8.com Download a FREE book summary of Wayne Dyer’s The 10 Secrets For Success and Inner Peace, and discover his 10 principles for creating real success, happiness
and inner peace in your life.
source site: click here
Acquiring Wisdom
by Kathleen Howe
I've experienced more than most people experience in a long
lifetime of 100 years in my fifty years on this earth. It's almost as if I can say to you,
"Go ahead, ask me! Whatever it is, I've done it!"
There are some bible verses that describe some
of what I've gone through, for instance when I prayed for patience. This was a big mistake!
Romans 5:3 And not only so, but we glory
in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
I had troubles, tribulations
and trauma, crises and natural disasters ever since I was born. I've made many mistakes and have felt my sanity slip
from me. The importance of my situation has been that I not forget what I have learned and I use the
wisdom I have gained from my heartaches and pain to keep others I care and love about from having to learn their life
lessons the same way - by experience - trial and error.
In my quest to help others through this network
of sites I've hoped that through sharing my wisdom, my costly lessons learned might be of some positive use instead of everything
be for nothing. It is through this belief that I have taken time to share my wisdom with you all. I wouldn't want anyone to
suffer the same things that I have.
I'm sure that you understand what I'm talking
about. We grow up and we share what we've learned with our children, who promptly smile that mischievous grin they have as
if to simply "humor" us by pretending they're soaking it all in. It is through our love for them that we share our pain. They
aren't realizing that we don't want to re-live those grievous times; we want to spare them the same pain.
Wisdom, from anyone is vital in our lives. We
can learn from listening and totally absorbing the wisdom of others. We must learn how to listen first and not want to be
in competition for the most horrible experiences that have happened to anyone.
to be continued.... 5/4/08
FAITH AND WISDOM by
Sharon Marcus
Faith and wisdom are profoundly intertwined; faith provides
the solid root for wisdom’s growth and wisdom nourishes the soil in which faith can grow. They are inseparable and necessary
to each other, conjoined twins. For any number of problems an aspirant or seeker on the path will encounter along the way,
the doubts and confusion which spring up spontaneously in a lack of clarity, the remedy is often to be discovered in deeper
faith, the trust that God who knows the beginning and the middle also knows the end of the story, the remedy is deeper faith
and the absolute gratitude for what has already been given and for the perfection of the outcome, no matter how it turns out.
If wisdom falters faith can shore it up, and if faith is inadequate the tools of wisdom can refurbish it. Faith and wisdom
together build the house of light for our soul, a house for this world and the next. What can we do to make our faith stronger,
are there techniques or practices which will increase our faith? What are the instruments of wisdom, what is it that makes
us wise?
We should remember first that God can do anything, if He wants us in a certain place at a certain time, make
no mistake about it, we will, against every expectation, be there. We might be living in one country, but a great sage has
arrived where we once lived, where we never expected to return, and yet we find ourself back there in the place where wisdom
will be offered. If He wants us to find the person who will be our husband or wife, continents and oceans will not keep us
apart, we will meet in some country or city neither of us thought we would ever visit or see. Since there is no doubt He can
easily do these things outwardly, we should be persuaded He can just as easily do the inner things.
Many years ago
as a teenager, when I was still looking for answers to the questions that burned my life, I would follow a line of reasoning
with great anticipation, hopeful that truth would soon be revealed and made available, only to be stopped when faith was introduced,
the necessary next step. Descartes in his oven was a stunning example for me, his method was so pure, so convincing, yet he
left me behind when his argument appealed to faith; that finished me because I could not go there with him, faith was not
any part of my existence or understanding. For me to have come from that absolute negative to this absolute positive is neither
evolution nor revolution, it is removing the oceans and continents which separated me from Him, it is the divine transaction
which can come to anyone, the grace and direct guidance He offers to the urgent heart.
The two things we have to offer
Him, the two broad avenues which open the door, invite His access to us, are love and wisdom. The wisdom might not manifest
as what we know, what we expect to know, it might be what we long to know, an amorphous, prayerless state which knows only
that it does not know, that it needs to know, that it must know. Without even a conceptual predication of the divine we can
still be led to the truth, although this long, difficult route is clearly one to avoid because it entails an endless pursuit
of routes marked no exit, empty streets and ruined houses. We have to investigate until we can say it’s not philosophy,
it’s not music and the arts, it’s not anodynes like alcohol which do nothing to end the pain, it’s not stimulants
like drugs which promise what they cannot deliver, and we have to reject it all, come to the end of pleasure and pain, then,
only then, if our body is still intact and we still hunger to know, He will look at our folly with His compassion, His mercy,
His magnanimity, and open the door.
He will open the door if we have also discovered something about love, not the
self or ego centered love of my child, my family, my husband, my wife, a universal love encompassing all human beings, even
all living things. A teacher might learn this love by caring for all the children, not any one child, but all of them, absolutely
and abstractly; a doctor might learn this love by caring for patients, healing their suffering; any one of us might learn
this love by caring for the dispossessed, the homeless, loving not a specific individual but suffering humanity. This ability
to love without focusing on something we think belongs to us is important since that is a different kind of love, a love which
ushers in the possibility of absolutes, a necessary basic for understanding the divine nature of God, the omnipresent, omniscient,
absolute One. If we are open to a single absolute, any one of the ninety-nine, the door swings open wide, but even though
the door is now open we do not always know what to do next, we do not know how to cross the threshhold, walk in. Without signposts,
a map or a guide we cannot find our way in, not to the center, not back to the beginning.
We might have been floundering
endlessly until our state allows the door to open, now our approach to the truth must change, must become more directed, now
we need to develop the aspect of faith we can identify as determination, as the point of strength to carry us beyond intention
to performance, action, the belief that we believe which will take us to the supreme conviction we need. There are unique,
historical moments for each individual, an intersection of the human and the divine that we call revelation which might propel
us into the open, waiting space; there are quieter intimations, like studying the presence of God in His creation, or studying
the divinely inscribed text of the human heart or sacred writings which extend confirmation. Once we learn how to drive we
can’t just fall asleep at the wheel and expect to be taken to our destination, this is nothing more than the introduction,
everything remains to be done, the practice of driving, learning what to avoid, how to be safe, how to navigate, all this
needs to be learned.
This is the point at which the wisdom and experience of a true master, an enlightened master,
become indispensable. Why, we might wonder, can’t we do this on our own, why do we have to do this in the company of
someone else, someone who has gone this way before and knows the road, knows the dangers and traps that might lie in wait
for us anywhere ahead, isn’t God alone enough? God is always enough, but there are things He has conveyed to a higher
state of consciousness than ours, secrets told and mysteries unbound that such a guide can make available to us at a level
accessible to our own wisdom. Without such instruction and guidance we can take every wrong turn, even end up in the wrong
place. We must search for such a teacher with dedication and fervor, then God will see our need and send the right person
at the right time; never give up, that master will find us.
Author's Bio About the Author: Toronto
based poet and novelist Sharon Marcus has written nine books of poetry, four novels, a collection of short stories, three
works of non-fiction and a scattering of miscellaneous pieces, book reviews and the like. For the most part, the poetry is
lyrical, ecstatic, searching for revelation, always with a passionate obligation to guard the gates of language, to protect
rhythm and preserve substance; each of the four novels investigates a different form, all very lyrical, all incorporating
extensive use of verse one way or another, the fourth novel in alternating sections of verse and prose; the non-fictional
works, whether political or personal, describe events too odd for fiction. http://www.sufipress.com/ info@sufipress.com
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Nurturing Emotional Wisdom
by Gail Bernice Holland
How do we define
true "wisdom"? Are we wise if we shine with academic brilliance
and have a high IQ? Or is a wise person someone who integrates different ways of knowing
beyond intellectual prowess - for example, intuition, feelings, and emotions? Is there a form of wisdom that includes an ability to readily develop positive relationships, caring, and compassion? Do we need to pay more attention to "emotional wisdom"?
In 1995, when psychologist
Daniel Goleman redefined "intelligence" in his groundbreaking book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than
IQ, he struck a nerve with readers. Not only did the book become a bestseller but it started a movement - a movement to
change the way we educate children, and change the way we view wisdom.
Today, Goleman reflects, "Between
1995 and now there has been a huge increase in schools interested in social and emotional learning, not just in the United States, but around the world. This is a global movement."
Goleman explained in his book
that we have "two brains, two minds - and two different kinds of intelligence: rational and emotional." He stated, "The old paradigm held an ideal of reason freed of the pull of emotion. The new paradigm urges us to harmonize head and heart. To do that well in our lives means we must first understand more exactly what it means to use emotion intelligently."
The current generation of
children, says Goleman, seems to be particularly troubled emotionally; more children are depressed, angry, and aggressive. The shock wave of recent shootings in schools has left educators with
a new sense of urgency about the need to foster traits that produce healthy, balanced individuals. Goleman believes that through emotional education, crucial qualities such as impulse control, empathy, self-awareness, and sensitivity to one's own feelings, as well as the feelings of others, can be encouraged and supported.
This movement goes beyond
simply a change in school curriculum and goals. The implications for society are enormous. The vision of the Institute of Noetic Sciences
(IONS) is to create "a global wisdom society in which consciousness, spirituality, and love
are at the center of life." An underlying perennial question has been: How do we nurture wisdom?
Today, hundreds of research
projects are under way examining emotional intelligence, but the results are not yet conclusive. Ten years ago, very little scientific research was conducted in this area, although
the idea of emotional intelligence has been explored for decades. In the late 1980s, Harvard psychologist Howard Gardner proposed that human beings are capable
of a whole range of different intelligences, including social intelligences, which Gardner labeled "interpersonal" and "intrapersonal."
When Goleman wrote his book, he discussed Gardner's research and acknowledged that he owed the specific concept of "emotional intelligence" to Peter Salovey, who wrote an article with John "Jack" Mayer in 1990 defining emotional intelligence as a scientifically testable intelligence.
Salovey, who is now the chair
of Yale University's Psychology Department, recalls his initial research. "I was doing a lot of work in my lab where we would
arouse emotions in people, usually through film or music. We looked at the way it changed their thinking processes and even their behavior. We found that the arousal of an emotion would often make them better at solving a certain kind of problem or task. We then realized that individuals differ in their
ability to understand, harness, and use their emotions in thinking, problem-solving, and creativity."
He and his colleagues are
currently exploring whether strengths or weaknesses in emotional intelligence correlate with family relations, coping with stress, and the abilities to form friendships and work in groups. "Our research
now involves looking at these individual differences quite concretely, and seeing how they relate to outcomes in the world."
Even though we're waiting
for more definitive answers, the public's attitude toward the importance of emotion has already changed. "We used to believe," says Salovey, "that emotions and rationality can't co-exist - the two are antithetical. We know now that is not true. What excites me most is that we
are helping to usher in a new way of looking at emotion, a new respect for emotion. Darwin argued that we evolved an emotional system because it helps us survive. Somehow that idea got lost; we minimized emotions so they didn't get in the way of rational decision-making. Nothing could be further from the truth."
In other words, Salovey stresses,
emotions don't get in the way - they pave the way. "There's increasing neurological evidence to support that idea. Antonio Damasio's
book Descartes' Error reveals that if the parts of the brain that deal with emotion are damaged, one ends up not being able to make good rational decisions. The two areas are interlinked. Descartes' Error
makes the case neurologically why the separation between rationality and emotion makes no sense."
Sense and Sensibilities in Schools
One of the first schools in
the United States to introduce social-emotional learning, long before research had been conducted in this area, was the Nueva School in California, founded in 1967 by Karen
McCown. In the 1960s, McCown recalls, the focus was on humanistic education. It was a time of visionary idealism, and in her
own quest to make a difference in society, she began to explore a vision of a school that would help students reach their
full potential and become whole, healthy human beings.
McCown, (who is an IONS member), sought the advice of many community leaders on how to start such a
school. In addition, she held a meeting of Nobel prize winners and asked them to describe what would have been an ideal school
environment when they were growing up. "They all said they would have had a much more rewarding life if they had learned more
social skills, not felt so isolated from other students, and had a well-rounded education."
When the Nueva School opened,
McCown introduced a pioneering "self-science" curriculum, based on the concept that "experiencing one's self in a conscious
manner - that is, gaining self-knowledge - is an integral part of learning." Years later, when Goleman conducted his research,
he visited Nueva and discussed in his book the successful components of their self-science program.
But the success story doesn't stop at one school. McCown, along with Anabel Jensen, a former executive director of the Nueva school, decided
to form an organization called "Six Seconds," a nonprofit educational service organization that provides emotional intelligence training and materials for schools, communities, families, and corporations. The "Six Seconds" name was chosen because it
takes only six seconds for an emotion to flood human consciousness, and then dissipate. "With a six-second pause," explains Jensen, "you can transform your life
six seconds at a time."
This emotional intelligence network has been so effective that the "Six Seconds" process is now being used in many US schools, and in more than twenty
countries.
GLOBAL MOVEMENT
In South Africa, for example,
Ridge Park College is battered by societal problems. As the principal Tilly Reddy explains, not only is AIDS in Africa a crisis,
but many regions are also witnessing a breakdown of family structures. "A family where one mother has five children from four
different fathers is not uncommon. The public school system in South Africa faces this legacy in its attempts to address the
AIDS pandemic."
Nearly three years ago, the
teachers at Ridge Park College received training in emotional intelligence from Six Seconds, and then designed their own curriculum.
"We emphasize the power students
have to make choices - a movement away from the victim mentality, "says Reddy. "The `just say no' approach is not working,
and our focus is now on what students should do. As HIV/AIDS is primarily a behavioral disease, we concentrate on changing attitudes, instilling motivation, encouraging and rewarding the delay of gratification, and building impulse control - all
emotional quotient (EQ) competencies."
Ridge Park College invited
other local schools to participate in their teacher-training sessions, and they also organized an EQ conference. Reddy observes:
"The relationship between teaching emotional intelligence in schools and the development of a society is unquestionable. The skills learned in schools are transferable to the real
world. If a student learns delayed gratification in school, for example, this can impact the choices he or she makes throughout
life. If you possess greater emotional awareness of your own feelings, you manage them better. If you are able to identify the emotions of others, then you understand others better, and can make better decisions. Emotional intelligence is crucial to the moral regeneration of our society."
TEACHING POSSIBILITIES
One of the main concerns of
schools throughout the world is the cost of special curricula. Both Jensen and McCown, who head the Six Seconds network, stress
that their approach can be taught within the current curriculum of any school; it doesn't have to be a separate class. "Basically,"
says Jensen, "once a teacher becomes skilled and comfortable with the process, it can be incorporated into any subject matter.
There's probably not anything I do that hasn't been blended or brushed with the stroke of emotional intelligence. In addition, when you cut down on the discipline problems in today's classroom, you create more time for instruction you
didn't have before."
A specific concept taught
in the Six Seconds process is the damaging effect of "killer statements," whether said by a teacher or student. "A `killer
statement' is any kind of negative comment, criticism, or put-down, such as `that was a really dumb thing to do' or `how can
you not understand that?'" explains McCown. "Kids really see why it's important not to communicate with each other that way. It changes the
atmosphere of the school. Sometimes parents declare, `This isn't the real world because people in the real world always say
unkind things to one another.' My response is that we'd like these children to understand that there's another way of being in the world -so they can make a choice. When I go to high schools I ask, `Is there any
parent or any teacher here who wouldn't like kids to be more self-aware, self-motivated, have more compassion and empathy, more self-control? No? Well, that's what this is about.' "
Some are also claiming that
when emotional intelligence is applied in their classrooms, academic skills improve. Jill Green is the principal of Explorer School, a public charter
elementary school in La Jolla, California, which earned the highest math and reading test scores in the San Diego Unified
school district in 2002. (Explorer uses the Six Seconds process together with Second Step,
a social and emotional violence-prevention curriculum developed by the Committee for Children.) ``It's clear,"
says Green, "that if children feel safe, comfortable, and valued in a classroom, they're going to be better achievers. That just makes good sense. By emphasizing only the academic, cognitive,
and competitive aspects of education, we lead people into the same kinds of split allegiances of `I'm right, you're wrong.
'To be wise, you have to be aware of alternatives, and you have to be able to see other points of view."
She adds, "Teaching emotional intelligence is bigger than just enhancing a student's education. If people don't learn how to understand differences, and develop an acceptance of each other, there's not much hope for the world."
PARENTS' RESPONSE
In emotional education can
be particularly beneficial to children who struggle with learning disabilities or behavior problems. At the Explorer School,
one of the fathers describes the difficult time his six-year-old son was having. "My son is a wonderful child, but he was
a challenging child. He had some significant behavioral issues."
The father, Edward (whose name has been changed to protect his family's privacy), goes on to explain
how his son would get mad at other children over the smallest issue. "He was easily frustrated, and would scream at the other
kids. I believe if he had been put into a standard school system, these behavior problems would have led to a disaster."
At the Explorer School, he
says, the teachers addressed these problems with extraordinary patience. Whenever his son misbehaved, he was told to go to
the principal's office - not for punishment but for guidance. "During his first year at the school," says Edward, "my son
talked to Jill Green, the principal, probably two or three times a day. She was nice to him but firm. She said, `You have
to learn how to handle your frustration. This is what we expect:
We don't allow hitting or yelling. You have to
learn how to calm yourself down.' I think that you can have a principal who has the absolute command and respect of the students,
and yet hasn't done it by intimidation."
Those opposed to teaching
emotional intelligence often raise the argument that it is the role of the parent, not the school, to teach children how to handle their emotions. Edward understands this point of view but responds, "We were never trained how to be parents, so we've been just trying to do the best we can
with our son, and the school worked with us closely. We also saw an outside counselor, and this person was in direct contact
with Jill Green. To acclimatize my son to the social necessities of sitting in the classroom, the counselor and the school
initiated a ticket game. For every section he completed successfully without having any behavior problem, he had a hole punched."
Edward was impressed that
the school not only went out of its way to help his child, but encouraged other students in the class to support his son during this difficult phase. "Jill put the whole class in this position of psychological support rather than ridiculing him. It's a testament to this school's global approach that the other kids became interested in the
ticket-punching concept and wanted my son to succeed. My son is perfectly fine now," adds Edward, "but if it hadn't been for the school's commitment, we would have a huge dysfunctional
problem on our hands."
Most emotional-intelligence programs include a parent-education component. Sabrina Coble, who has a son and daughter at the Explorer School, comments,
"It's impossible to expect parents to deal with something that they haven't been taught to deal with. Education should prepare
our children for life, and it should do that by giving students the tools to handle both the emotional and intellectual parts of life. There will always be a difficult person or somebody who does something differently. If education
can equip our children to handle these situations, to understand that there may be difficult people and not label them `bad,' and find a way to help them, then the effect on society would
be wonderful."
Tina Boughton, the Social-Emotional
Curriculum Coordinator at Explorer, bases her work on these beliefs: "Wisdom has to start with a self-knowing. I can't think of anything more important than
helping children understand their own emotional world, so they know how they react to certain situations. For example, a child should recognize when he or she is feeling sad, angry or guilty, to identify the feeling and then know there are options for responding or feeling differently. Whether it's an intellectual knowing, a physical knowing, or an emotional knowing, all three areas require awareness. They need to be integrated, and that is where wisdom comes from - when those different parts of our
being communicate with each other to help us make conscious choices rather than working unconsciously. Ideally, if children
were given the tools to develop their innate wisdom and their way of knowing in the world,
we would have a wiser planet."
A WISER WORLD
Ten-year-old Paloma Beatriz
Nikolic knows what to do when she's feeling mad. "There are a few techniques like counting to ten, or walking away. And they teach us breathing exercises if we are frustrated so we calm down." Whether you are ten years old or middle-aged, says Anabel Jensen, Six Seconds' president, you can benefit from emotional-management techniques. Jensen is currently an associate professor at Notre Dame de Namur University in California, and because
she works primarily in the teacher-credential program, the average age of her students is around 45 years.
During one of Jensen's recent
classroom sessions, two of her students suddenly started crying. One woman broke into tears when she began to describe a personal
story about her daughter who had been given a drug at a party and ended up in a coma. Another woman was crying because she
had just been in car accident.
"These women were dealing
with significant incidents in their lives," acknowledges Jensen. "We stopped our psychology class and did self-science for fifteen minutes. It wasn't on the agenda, but it was necessary
in terms of the support that both of these people needed."
Because Jensen incorporates
emotional awareness into her lessons, her students often tell her, "I wish I'd had this tool when I was a child. I wish I'd had this tool when
I was raising my children."
Jensen and McCown both believe that although it's never too late to introduce emotional intelligence tools at any age, the elementary school level is ideal. "The sooner the better," says McCown. "Scientific research is beginning to show that learning doesn't take place without
the emotional component. We now have a more sophisticated ability to understand how the brain and mind function."
She pauses and then adds,
"Can you imagine a world where we valued equally our emotional intelligence as well as our intellectual intelligence? What a different world we would create."
Resource Guide:
Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning:
CASEL is conducting a comprehensive evaluation of
school-based programs that promote social and emotional development. www.casel.org
Committee for Children: "Second Step"curriculum.
www.cfchildren.org
Six Seconds: www.6seconds.org
EQ Today magazine: www.EQtoday.com
source site: click here
Mentoring - Share Your Wisdom by Andrew Van Valer
Stop for one moment. I have something important to tell you.
You, my friend, are a star. You have so much to offer this world. So much wisdom to share. So many gifts to give others.
So
what's stopping you? Maybe you have been in the corporate world and learned that if you share, you wont get ahead. Maybe you
just haven't found a good outlet for giving back to the world. Or maybe you think you don't have the time. But isn't finding
the time to do good in the world really, really worth the effort? Of course!
One way of sharing your passion and
gifts, and doing good things in the world is becoming a mentor. A mentor-mentee relationship allows you to have a very
positive impact on someone else's life.
Wondering what a mentor does? A mentor acts as an advisor on a variety of issues.
For the purposes of this discussion, let's assume that you might mentor someone in the area of your business expertise.
You may offer specific business advice, act as a sounding board and teach your new friend your secrets to success.
It's
an ongoing, personal relationship that can span any amount of time you like. Typically the relationships evolve naturally.
It's not like you walk up to someone and say "I am looking for someone to mentor." Although I guess you could. But usually,
your mentor just appears somehow.
Perhaps you've been mentored in the past and know how much you gained from the experienced
and you'd like to "Pay it Forward." Great! If you'd like to find someone to mentor, set your intention now. Simply tell
the Universe that you wish to do this and you'll be surprised how quickly that person shows up in your life.
Keep
your eyes and ears open for clues that you might have just met your new student. Your intuition will play a valuable role
in this process, so follow the lead. If you meet someone you instinctively click with, this might be a good person to consider
as your mentee.
You could look for your mentee through your local trade or professional association. Attending monthly
meetings are a great way to meet other people in your field. If you meet someone you think might be a good match, simply
offer to act as a sounding board for them on a particular topic. And see where that conversation leads. Your continued
offer of support will let them know that you are willing and able to help them. And if the offer is acted upon over time,
the mentor-mentee relationship starts to develop.
So share your wisdom. You have so much to give. Giving back to the
world is a wonderful use of your time. And who knows how the world might repay you for your kindness.
Everyone has
something to offer. The older you are, you have so much life experience. The younger you are, you have so much knowledge of
the new technologies.
Share in abundance!www.cashflowpotentials.com
Author's Bio He's been called "Mr. Solutions" and a "Visionary" by many of his friends
and peers. A person who believes you can’t teach what you haven't done, Andrew Van Valer combines solid business skills
with novel insights that often shake up the conventional way of thinking. He has the ability to take the complex and somehow
make it simple to understand.
At a very young age, Andrew started his own business – based on a solid work ethic
acquired from his parents For 19 years, he was on the startup teams of four disruptive technology companies. He held a number
of positions in operations, strategic planning and marketing with three very successful companies headed by Philippe Kahn,
technology innovator and entrepreneur. He has set up and managed businesses in five countries, and has been learning continuously
about trends, real estate, investing, business models and, more importantly, patterns of success.
He gets enjoyment
from coaching others on life skills – money management, debt elimination, the creation of multiple pipelines of income
and, most importantly, discovering someone’s passion and purpose in life.
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