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nowhere within the emotional feelings network of sites is any opportunity for me to make any profit from any of the 28 + sites within this network. this network of sites has been put together as a personal mission to help others by informing those who need information concerning mental health, eating disorders, lifestyle factors, and every other topic listed within.

navigational hint: all underlined link words open up a new window instead of changing your present one, taking you to another site within the emotional feelings network of sites - or to another site referencing the underlined link word!

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 It's very important that you visit the next page: keeping in touch!
Reason being: If you're here because you're searching for an answer to your feelings of dissatisfaction, unhappiness, feeling sick, or just general feelings of misery in your life - you need to find a volunteer opportunity that you feel comfortable with.
 
You can help yourself by helping others. You might not think so; but it's true. Find something you can do to help some worthy causes. "Keeping in Touch" will show you some important causes that need you!
 
Why not just click here now to get it over with! So even if you leave this site after finding some information concerning an emotion or feeling... you'll also leave with the seed of thought concerning volunteer work that might produce some results bringing you a sense of accomplishment & find yourself feeling better!

Your Dictionary Definition Of:
 

selfishness (Self"ish*ness) n.


1. Meanly close and covetous; one who spends grudgingly; a stingy, parsimonous fellow; a miser.
2. The quality or state of being selfish; meanness in giving or spending; parsimony; stinginess.
3. The quality or state of being selfish; exclusive regard to one's own interest or happiness; that supreme self-love or self-preference which leads a person to direct his purposes to the advancement of his own interest, power, or happiness, without regarding those of others.

"Selfishness,- a vice utterly at variance with the happiness of him who harbors it, and, as such, condemned by self-love." Sir J. Mackintosh.

 welcome...
 
i'm really glad to see you!
 
you've found your way to
 
the emotional feelings network of sites
what was once - extremely emotional
is now
 
feeling emotional, five!
 
What was once - (5 years ago) - only
"understanding anxiety"
is now an entire network of 28 + self-help personal growth & recovery journey informational websites.

click this logo to visit anxieties 101 now!

5 years ago I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, depression & I was also experiencing an eating disorder that no one knew anything about; night eating.
 
While I was miserable in experiencing all the symptoms of post traumatic stress, an anxiety disorder & depression - which often accompanies anxiety disorders; I was overjoyed in finally finding out what was wrong with me!

all the lonely people, where do they all come from

Why would someone spend 1000's of hours designing & keeping up these websites to offer free information to others?

I have to reply - "You're absolutely right! It does take many, many hours each day to work on these sites. I'm a mother, a wife & an individual who has tons of personal work to do as well as the usual family responsibilities!
 
How would I find the time?
 
Why do I do it? I use the opportunity to combine my own recovery - personal growth journey with an important concept that I've made a commitment to:
 
"Helping yourself thru helping others..." 
 
I was so excited when after years of searching for the answer to my everyday question, "What's wrong with me?" that I felt determined to show others that if you don't quit & you know the path to take, you can find your answers as well!

what is your situation now? how are you feeling?

 
My immediate concern was "mental health." While I didn't know what was wrong with me, I did have one medical specialist tell me that my physical pain was due to a "mental problem."
 
I didn't quite understand it all, I was wallowing in many different symptoms of mental illness like panic attacks, severe anxiety & finally my eating disorder symptoms of waking up numerous times in the night to eat.
 
Just as you may have seen recently on either public service television commercials for depression or in your doctor's office waiting room; mental illness can manifest itself in physical symptoms that include many sources of discomfort. I was also experiencing the symptoms of "irritable bowel syndrome," that had started early on in my life. So I'll start with the mental health site that now exists within the network:
 

celebrate each & every small accomplishment!

 
I've reached a point in my own personal recovery & growth journey that I believe I can describe accurately most of the emotions & feelings within the emotional feelings network of sites without using any information from anyone else.
 
But since the ruination of the "extremely emotional" site - I had to stop & ask myself - remembering to be aware & mindful of what's happening in my present moment -
 
"Why did this happen to me?" (the unreasonable ruin of my site, of course!) 
 
or - Choosing to seek a positive return for a negative energy passing my way - what would the positive ramifications be of having to go through every single page of a network of 28+ sites to delete the links to my ruined site?
 
Geez... now that I think of it... I've asked myself that question quite a few times before... "Why did this happen to me?" & I searched & searched for an answer, wasting time & positive energy on something very simple... Life is what's happening. Just look to find the positive about it instead of the negative
 
This is what I am looking for now in all aspects of my life. I'm looking for the "positive" reasons things happen. I remember what I've learned from my past to be prepared to have to confront negativities with my re-gained "power & control" on my side now instead of the enemy; but I choose now to look upon the face of countenance instead of upheaval.
 
After pondering a few days on this subject, while going through every page of the emotional feelings site - here - to unlink all the emotion & feelings words "s" thru the end of the alphabet - I realized something magnificent.
 
"This is my opportunity to take the time to check ALL linked words to be sure they're being directed to the correct places. This is my opportunity to re-check spelling & grammar. This is my opportunity to try to express in my own words - the most meaningful knowledge I've recently acquired!
 
I'll write what I've learned about the whole cake, almost 6 years of growth - not just reveal a the first piece of the cake! - I still offer other author's works to explain situational inferences to emotions & feelings!
 
I'll try to the best of my ability to explain the importance of every emotion & feeling. I'm honored you chose the emotional feelings network of sites to visit!
 
kathleen

 Important notice:
 
Please be patient! I thank you for your visit to the site and I apologize for any inconvenience if your emotion or feeling isn't available at this time!! 
 
With the unfortunate, untimely and mostly unexpected deletion of my extremely emotional site - it's been difficult to delete all the links from that site throughout 28+ sites - then the construction of this site in replacement of the deleted site - then re-establishing the underlined work links throughout 28+ sites!!! it's been quite a job!
 
As you can see... this replacement site is going up as fast as I can possibly work it! Thank you again for your patience and please stop by daily to see if the emotion or feeling you were searching for has been posted!
 
kathleen

click the link to send me an e-mail!

click here to send me an e-mail!

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something to ponder...

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Is Self-Interest Selfish?

A Modern-Day Examination of Adam Smith's Invisible Hand

Conventional wisdom in the 1990's says we're all supposed to be unselfish, caring individuals who reach out to help others at the merest hint of a need, with no thought for ourselves. The same conventional wisdom says it's wrong for anyone to amass a great fortune and keep it all to himself, when there are so many people in the world who lack the basic necessities of life. Karl Marx was a great proponent of this philosophy.

I don't have any particular problem with helping others. In fact, like anyone else, I rather enjoy being able to bless someone, by providing something they need (or want) and haven't been able to obtain for themselves. Especially when it's something I chose to do, of my own volition. I do, however, have trouble with the idea that I should feel guilty for taking care of my own needs, and those of my family, before looking outside my own tent to be of help to others.

You're So Selfish!

By the wisdom of the '90's, I could probably be considered selfish for making that statement. But by other standards, it might be said that I was merely acting in my own self-interest. The literal definitions of these two words are remarkably similar, the differences being mostly attitudinal and a matter of degree.
 
Selfishness, in the generally accepted sense of the word, sees nothing, is aware of nothing, and cares for nothing but its own gratification. Self-interest, on the other hand, while looking to meet its own needs and ensure its long-term security, looks not only at the short-term benefits of its actions, but also to the long-term affect of its present actions on its own future self-interest.

Adam Smith perhaps said it best in his 1776 treatise on economics, "The Wealth of Nations". He said that when one produces goods that are of value to others, and therefore marketable, one "intends only his own gain, and he is in this, as in many other cases, led by an invisible hand to promote an end which is no part of his intention....  By pursuing his own interest he frequently promotes that of society more effectually than when he really intends to promote it."

Looking Out For #1

Let's say, for instance, that I am the owner of a small manufacturing company, and that I spend my entire life "looking out for #1." In every endeavor, and every circumstance, I determine my course of action based on what I think will be best for me, without taking into account the interest of any others.
 
I could use the cheapest materials available for my product, and use the money I save to remodel my office, but the result would be a lower quality product, which would probably lead to less-than-satisfied customers (who might not come back again), and could possibly endanger lives, depending on what type of product I manufacture. Or I could use higher grade materials and produce the best quality product for my customers. Which is really "looking out for #1?"

In the same vein, I can choose to provide follow-up service to my customers, to be sure the product they bought from me meets their needs and expectations. Or I can adopt the popular "let the buyer beware" stance, operating on the premise that there are plenty of customers out there, and if one or two don't come back, then I'll just sell my product to someone else.

The problem is, every one or two customers who don't come back know at least five or ten other potential customers, who may never come through my doors because of what they heard from the "one or two." Which is really "looking out for #1"?

As an employer, I can provide benefits to my employees in addition to their hourly wages, including medical and other insurance, retirement savings, and even a profit-sharing program. I can encourage, by means of wage incentives, employee committees and participatory management, continual product improvement, product line expansion, improved customer service, and ongoing improvement in safety and working conditions.

Or, I can treat my labor force as a replenishable resource that has nothing to add to the profitability of the company, most of whom don't need more than the minimum of insurance coverage, and who probably won't stick around long enough to make a pension plan worth the time and trouble. Again, which is really "looking out for #1"?

The Reluctant Altruist

When a businessman conducts his business to ensure his own best long-term self-interest, he is, in almost every case, also benefiting the general society. If his direct action is to produce a widget of sufficiently high quality to command a profitable price in the marketplace, he can continue to conduct his business. That means his workers continue to be gainfully employed, and are probably not drawing welfare.
 
If his direct action is to pay his workers a wage that is worthy of their hire, they can probably afford to buy a car, possibly a computer, and maybe even a house. That means the people who manufacture cars and computers, and those who build houses, continue to be gainfully employed and are probably not drawing welfare. And they, too, can probably afford to buy things like cars and computers and houses, keeping even more workers gainfully employed and off the welfare rolls (and we haven't even mentioned the people who produce food and clothing!).

If the employer's direct action is to provide a clean, safe workplace for his employees, good insurance and other fringe benefits, and an atmosphere that encourages their input and involvement in improving the company's product and service, they are more likely to be happy and healthy, which means lower absenteeism, which translates to higher productivity, which in turn leads to higher profitability, which means he can continue to conduct his business, etc.

Even when the capitalist's direct action is to use the fruits of his labor to purchase something for himself, whether it be food or clothing, a car, a home, or even a luxury yacht, he is helping to keep other people gainfully employed. Even when he is only meeting his own personal needs and wants, he is made the reluctant altruist, benefiting the general society.

American Self-Interest

If the United States is to continue as a major player in the global economic community, it is critical not only that we Americans understand the distinction between self-interest and selfishness, but that we expand that understanding to other parts of the world as well. Because selfishness is not just an American tale, but rather a human weakness.
 
The more intimately involved we become with an international economic system while lacking this basic understanding, the more certain it is that the American economy will be subject to the officially sanctioned looting not only of its own selfish citizenry, but of every underdeveloped, redistributionist nation in the world.

LF-Feb.96
Author Unknown

Source Site: Click here

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Divorce Doesn't Scar Children - Selfish Parents Do
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
 
Divorce is a highly emotional topic. When children are involved the consequences are far more dramatic - and, not surprisingly, so are our opinions. I know there are many people who sincerely believe that no divorce is a good divorce. That children are always and inevitably harmed by the physical and emotional separation of their parents. And that parents should - for the sake of the kids - just stick it out and not rock the boat with divorce or separation until the children are grown.

This is a particularly prevalent view for many who are grown children of divorce. These adults have experienced the dramatic life changes that come with divorce and feel permanently scarred as a result.

This response is certainly understandable. But it's not the final word on this subject. I have another perspective based on the experience of being raised in a family that chose to stay together "for the sake of the kids." My parents should have divorced early in their marriage. They were both miserable together, had little respect for each other, and raised two children in a home fraught with anger, tension, frequent loud arguments and discord.

I remember my mother asking me one day when I was in early adolescence whether she should divorce Dad. "No," I cried. I wanted a Mom and a Dad like the other kids. My childhood was miserable and filled with insecurity. Immersed in that insecurity I feared what life would be like if my parents were divorced. Mom didn't have the courage to do it anyway (those were vastly different times, especially for women) and she continued in her unhappy marriage for decades more.

Looking back, I feel that was an unfortunate mistake. Neither of my parents were bad people. They were both just totally mismatched. Their communication skills were miserably lacking and they were wrapped up in winning every battle at all costs. The cost, of course, was the well-being of their family, especially of their children. I believe that each of them would have been happier and more fulfilled had they parted ways and remained single or chosen another mate.

Based on my own personal experience, I've come to firmly believe that it's not divorce that scars our children. It's wounded parents who do not care, understand or see that their behavior is hurting their children. It's vindictive parents who put down the other spouse in front of their kids.
 
It's parents who decide they should have sole custody or primary influence over the children with little regard as to the kid's relationship with the other parent. It's parents who confide their adult dramas to innocent children who just want to love Mommy and Daddy. It's parents who put financial gain and material decisions over the emotional well-being of their children.

In essence, it's selfish parents who put their own needs ahead of those of their totally dependent children when making life-altering parental decisions. When these parents get a divorce, the consequences are not only sad. Too often they end up scarring innocent psyches. They forget - or are ignorant about - how their decisions will affect their children in the months, years and, yes, decades ahead.

It is not divorce per se, but the divorce of two parents so enraged by each other that they make decisions based on blind hatred rather than conscious, educated wisdom. Let's put an end to this kind of behavior for the well-being of everyone in the family.


© Rosalind Sedacca 2007 All rights reserved.


Author's Bio: Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, has been facilitating relationship seminars and workshops for more than fifteen years. As a Certified Corporate Trainer and professional speaker, she now focuses her attention on coaching troubled families on how to create a "child-centered divorce." For free articles on this subject, her free ezine, and her book, How Do I Tell the Kids about the DIVORCE? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to preparing your children -- with love, visit her website, www.childcentereddivorce.com

source site: click here

Entitled Selfishness

Boomer Generation Is in a State of Denial

Robert J. Samuelson - Wednesday, January 10, 2007; Page A13 - Washington Post

As someone born in late 1945, I say this to the 76 million or so subsequent baby boomers and particularly to Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, our generation's leading politicians: Shame on us. We are trying to rob our children and grandchildren, putting the country's future at risk in the process. On one of the great issues of our time, the social and economic costs of our retirement, we have adopted a policy of selfish silence.

As Congress reconvenes, pledges of "fiscal responsibility" abound. Let me boldly predict: On retirement spending, this Congress will do nothing, just as previous Congresses have done nothing. Nancy Pelosi promises to "build a better future for all of America's children."

If she were serious, she would back cuts in Social Security and Medicare. President Bush calls "entitlement spending" the central budget problem. If he were serious, he, too, would propose cuts in Social Security and Medicare.

They are not serious, because few Americans - particularly prospective baby-boom retirees - want them to be. There is a consensus against candor, because there is no constituency for candor. It's no secret that the 65-and-over population will double by 2030 (to almost 72 million, or 20% of the total population), but hardly anyone wants to face the implications:

? By comparison, other budget issues, including the notorious earmarks, are trivial. In 2005, Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid (the main programs for the elderly) cost $1.034 trillion, twice the amount of defense spending and more than two-fifths of the total federal budget. These programs are projected to equal about three-quarters of the budget by 2030, if it remains constant as a share of national income.

? Preserving present retirement benefits automatically imposes huge costs on the young - costs that are economically unsound and socially unjust. The tax increases required by 2030 could hit 50%, if other spending is maintained as a share of national income. Or much of the rest of government (from defense to national parks) would have to be shut down or crippled. Or budget deficits would balloon to quadruple today's level.

? Social Security and Medicare benefits must be cut to keep down overall costs. Yes, some taxes will be raised and some other spending cut. But much of the adjustment should come from increasing eligibility ages (ultimately to 70) and curbing payments to wealthier retirees. Americans live longer and are healthier. They can work longer and save more for retirement.

Because I've written all this before, I can anticipate some of the furious responses from prospective retirees. First will be the "social compact" argument: We paid to support today's retirees; tomorrow's workers must pay to support us. Well, of course they will pay; the question is how much. The alleged compact is entirely artificial, acknowledged only by those who benefit from it. My three children (ages 16 to 21) didn't endorse it. Judging from the e-mail I receive, neither did many 20- or 30-somethings.

Next I'll hear that the Social Security and Medicare trust funds, intended to cover future benefits, have been "plundered." Blame Congress and the White House - not us. This is pure fiction.

Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid are pay-as-you-go programs. Present taxes pay present benefits. In 2005, 86% of Social Security payroll taxes went to pay current retiree benefits.

True, excess taxes had created a "surplus" in the Social Security trust fund (it hasn't been "plundered") of $1.66 trillion in 2005; but that equaled less than four years' worth of present benefits. More important, Medicare and Medicaid represent three-quarters of the projected spending increase for retirees by 2030.

All the misinformation bespeaks political evasion. With his rhetorical skills, Clinton might have raised public understanding. Instead, he lowered it by falsely denouncing the Republicans for attempting to "destroy" Medicare. The first refuge of good Democrats is to accuse the Republicans of conspiring against old folks by trying to dismantle Social Security and Medicare.

And Bush's credibility is shot, because he made the problem worse. His Medicare drug benefit increases spending, and though it could have been justified as part of a grand bargain that reduced other benefits, its isolated enactment was a political giveaway.

The failure to communicate also implicates many pundits and think tanks, liberal and conservative. Pundits usually speak in bland generalities. They support "fiscal responsibility" and "entitlement reform" and oppose big budget deficits. Less often do they say plainly that people need to work longer and that retirees need to lose some benefits.

Think tanks endlessly publish technical reports on Social Security and Medicare, but most avoid the big issues. Are present benefits justified? How big can government become before the resulting taxes or deficits harm the economy?

Opportunities for gradual change have been squandered. These public failings are also mirrored privately. I know many bright, politically engaged boomers who can summon vast concern or outrage about global warming, corporate corruption, foreign policy, budget deficits and much more - but somehow, their own Social Security and Medicare benefits rarely come up for discussion or criticism.

Older boomers (say, those born by 1955) are the most cynical, hoping their benefits will be grandfathered in when inevitable cuts occur in the future.

Our children will not be so blind to this hypocrisy. We have managed to take successful programs - Social Security and Medicare - and turn them into huge problems by our self-centered inattention. Baby boomers seem eager to "reinvent retirement" in all ways except those that might threaten their pocketbooks.

 
you've been visiting feeling emotional, 5
this site is being designed to take the place of extremely emotional!
 
please have a great day & take a few minutes to explore some of the other sites in the emotional feelings network of sites! explore the unresolved emotions & feelings that may be the cause of some of your pain & hurt... be curious & open to new possibilities! thanks again for visiting at feeling emotional, 5!
 
 
anxieties 101 - click here!
anxieties 102 - click here!
 
almost 30 sites, all designed, editted & maintained by kathleen!
 
until next time: consider yourself hugged by a friend today!
 
til' next time! kathleen
 
 
 
**disclaimer**
this is simply an informational website concerning emotions & feelings. it does not advise anyone to perform methods -treatments - practice described within, endorse methods described anywhere within or advise any visitor with medical or psychological treatment that should be considered only thru a medical doctor, medical professional, or mental health professional.  in no way are we a medical professional or mental health professional.
 
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