|
Do you experience a heightened
sensitivity to certain noises, light, foods, groups of people, other people’s edges or emotions, or does everyday life feel like just too much stimulus? Do you have frequent feelings of overwhelm and panic? If you experience any one (or more) of the preceding or following
indicators then you are likely an Ultra-Sensitive Person (USP).
- easily tired
- panic/anxiety attacks
- labeled as too “sensitive”
or “thin skinned” or “emotional”
- overwhelmed by being “out in the world”
- overly attentive to what is going on all around you
- urge to hide in a quiet, sometimes dark,
room when things are too much
- cancel or don’t make plans with others
- affected by other people’s moods
highly
allergic to foods and environmental conditions
exceptionally intuitive and artistic
Being ultra-sensitive
means you pick up on most of the subtleties around you, no matter what they are. This is because you are “deeply tuned-in”.
When the stimuli from these many levels begins to feel too much, a state of overwhelm can happen. You start to operate from a “survival” mode. For example, to cope with the situation you may retreat to be alone in a quiet and darkened room. This is a place where you can regroup and calm down an over-activated nervous system.
Ultra-Sensitive People are neither better nor
more conscious than anyone else. They do experience things more intensely and are aware of more of the subtleties in the environment than non USP’s. Some people are ultra-sensitive
in only a few areas of their life, like flying in an airplane, or being in a small cramped space. Others are ultra-sensitive in most or all areas of their lives. This is, I believe, based on your birth (karmic as well as physical), developmental growth
and life experiences.
Being Ultra-sensitive
is actually a gift, although it does not always feel that way. You have probably been criticized and shamed, for the way you have lived or not lived your life. You may have been called too sensitive,
emotional, thin-skinned, a complainer, or one who is never satisfied. The story of The Princess and the Pea mirrors an ultra-sensitive’s character (most often related to women).
For men, especially, the title
may be “cry baby”. These shame-laden labels can tarnish one’s life. Yet the biggest tragedy comes when you hide or suppress your awareness of the information that this gift reveals to you.
So lets spend some time inside
such a person, which is rich and bountiful. Remember you need not have all these indicators be true to be ultra-sensitive. There is a heightened sensitivity to the environment. It is challenging to be in the outside world where your input sensors can be easily over stimulated. You are very intuitive, even prophetic. You know what other people are feeling; your interpretations of such messages are not always accurate, but you know when something is up.
Others' moods affect you.
You love very deeply and fully. You can be overly conscientious. When you reach the overwhelm stage you usually retreat into a dark room or any place away from the situation that has pushed you over the line. You can
be sensitive to light, noise, and foods. If you go to the mall on a busy shopping day, you
feel it as a massive input of stimuli where others may only be mildly distracted.
When you get overwhelmed you respond as if your survival is at stake. In fact, panic/anxiety attacks are a common response to the overwhelm
situation. Then it is “run for cover”, or for some of us it may even be “go, go, go, do, do, do” even
more and try to kill the sensations in that manner. Addictions are born from not being able to tolerate these overwhelmed feelings.
How does one get to be this sensitive? Some of us are
born this way - we come in with a different neurological perspective. Some of us are traumatized in the early stages of development and become sensitive, example sexual abuse, or later in life such as fighting in a war (Post-Traumatic Stress). Others get these sensitivities from a skip in their central nervous system, such
as a physical abnormality (Mitral Valve Prolaspe) or chemical and food
allergies.
Whether you are ultra sensitive in certain areas of your life or in all areas isn’t the only point, for
the area you are ultra sensitive in is the place where overwhelm is possible, unless you learn to put a dimmer switch on your central nervous system and sensory awareness. How is it for
an Ultra-Sensitive on the job? It is best to find a work environment where you can have
your own space to operate.
You will not be the most social one
at the company water cooler and will tend to shy away from a lot of contact in large groups. You are very good at what you do the more you are left alone. But this also can bring
in the feeling of loneliness. Do you make contact - jump into the game - and risk having to cut out early or have a panic attack? It is hard to make good
decisions if you are busy dealing with staying alive from having too much input.
Because you tend to be very good
at what you do, people will come to you for assistance and in that case you will receive the acknowledgment you want but at the possible high cost of having too much contact. Any job where your co-workers can have free access to
you will be very challenging. You may not feel like you can escape if the need arises.
Here again is the basic challenge
for the Ultra-Sensitive person; which is when things get to be too much and you need to withdraw will you have the ok-ness within yourself to do what you need.
Of course your responsibility
is to develop skills that will help you tolerate the sensations of overwhelm. It is also helpful to learn how much and what types of information you can take in before overwhelm happens. In that way
you will be able to take a break and in that way reduce the possibility of over stimulation.
Your social
and intimate relationships provide you with a great opportunity to enjoy the richness of your sensitivities.
They also provide you with situations where you can become even more easily over stimulated. Your ability to tune in to what
others are feeling and what they need can be a great asset in any relationship. But this gift must be used wisely. The down side is that you can give yourself away or be intrusive on another’s space.
Clear communication as to what is happening for us is most helpful. For when you go into overwhelm others may see you as being narcissistic. But what is actually happening is that you have gone into survival mode and that
means by its very nature that you can only pay attention to yourself.
At these times it may be necessary
to take time alone away from as much external stimuli as possible. This needs to be presented as a way of taking care of yourself so that you can come to terms with exactly want your overwhelm is about. Once you are out of overwhelm then you can return to your regular mode of making contact and interacting.
Boundaries are also very different for Ultra-Sensitive People. Even when you are clear as to where
the other person is and you know what your stand is, you can usually still feel the other almost like it is yourself anyway.
That means you have a very unique opportunity to learn about how to stay with yourself as well as to be deeply connected with another.
This line is a thin one, between
you and another, and it is easy to cross over and believe that you have lost yourself. Sometimes it is true you do lose yourself and at other times that is not. You are totally with
yourself but still acutely aware of the other as well. I feel this may be a slightly different perspective on boundaries that many psychological therapies don’t acknowledge.
There are several basic approaches to the question “How can I turn down
my overly sensitive nature?”. I offer consultation on all the levels of attention
needed in this experience physical, emotional, and spiritual as well how to find the appropriate practitioners in your area.
Author's Bio: Roger Easterbrooks M.B.A., Registered Movement
Therapist, and ultra-sensitive, is trained in intuitive and traditional methods of healing.
Creator of the Heart of Intimacy
Relationship Intensive. Reach him at 206-264-5066 or http://www.ultra-sensitive.com
“I have known Roger to be a skillful, sensitive, compassionate teacher and
have heard positive comments from his students about his work.”
Dan Millman, author of “The Way of the
Peaceful Warrior”
Source site: click here
by Kathleen Howe
I was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder six years ago.
I had been struggling with severe episodes of panic attacks that I wasn't able to find any relief from. The pain was so severe
that the majority of physicians I had seen did not conclude that panic disorder or a mental disorder could be the cause of
the pain. In fact, they often chose the opposite, expediting a large number of tests to see what the true physical problem
might be.
As well as being diagnosed with the PTSD, I
was also diagnosed with depression. It's very common that PTSD or any of the anxiety disorders exist with depression. I was
also experiencing an eating disorder, but unfortunately no one within the medical profession seemed to know anything about
it - and no one tried to find out anything about it. It was most generally ignored by the treating physician at that time.
With each trip to the emergency room, an almost daily occurrence - I described
my symptoms to the nurses in triage and the attending physician. I knew what would help me and what wouldn't. With every visit
the nurse would give me a cup of what they referred to as "the cocktail." I knew that as soon as the cocktail touched my tongue
I would vomit. The vomiting was extremely painful because heaving was causing the pain in my solar plexus to escalate into
an even more painful situation.
I became quite frustrated with the process. I endured 3 endoscopic procedures
and many other tests and violations. I just prayed for an answer. I felt like I would die if the whole thing continued to
replay day after day. This exasperation and frustration I was experiencing was making me extremely
sensitive emotionally. I had overheard doctors who didn't make sure that they talked about me far enough away so that
I wouldn't hear them say that I needed to "get a grip on my life." But no one ever said, "Kathleen, maybe this is a mental
problem." They just kept treating me. They did the same thing for ever visit for close to 326 days out of one year.
When the nurse or doctor would mock me when I told them that I knew what
would work for the pain and what wouldn't I would always begin to cry. I just couldn't sit still because I was in so much
pain and they were making fun of me. Their customer service skills were non existent. I found it increasingly interesting
that the billing department never made mention of me being in the emergency room almost every day for one year. I also found
it extremely strange that the state of Michigan kept on paying for my medical bills because I was on Medicaid - no questions
asked.
I believe that this happens more than we know. For sure, if a person is
admitted to the emergency room with chest pains, there is always a determination of "anxiety attack," or "panic attack," once
there is proof that no heart attack occurred. But if a patient doesn't mention chest pain or that they feel like they're having
a heart attack - the medical profession tackles the symptoms to see if there is a medical reason for the pain.
I recently entered a hospital emergency room because my husband had been
operated on for a hernia. The doctor had prescribed pain medication for him to take at home that he was allergic to. He had
to meet the on-call doctor in order to receive a different medication. In the state of Ohio it's against the law to prescribe
a narcotic medication to someone you've never met. So I had to take him after he had hernia surgery out of the house
and to the emergency room. He was in extreme pain and was feeling nausea that was causing him to heave because he was allergic
to the meds the doctor had prescribed.
When I arrived at the desk in the emergency room, I half way expected
to see the doctor standing there waiting for us because we only lived 5 minutes away. He knew my husband was in extreme distress
and pain. But alas, there was no doctor waiting. I explained the situation to the girl at the desk and she didn't get what
I was saying. Being diagnosed with PTSD and still experiencing symptoms of the mental illness through certain triggers - I
became hyper vigilant with the stress of the moment. This ultra sensitivity is a symptom
of PTSD. I began to get louder with the woman, more agitated and began to repeat myself with shortened breath.
There was a security guard sitting at the end of the counter who immediately
reprimanded me for being too loud and excited. I was getting angrier and feeling winded and I was about to lose control when
I was able to catch myself and calm down for a minute before totally losing my cool. I thought to myself, "Now wouldn't it
be wonderful if I ended up getting arrested because of my hyper vigilant state?" The possibility seemed very close to being
reality.
I apologized to the woman at the desk and explained, "I have PTSD. I get
very hyper vigilant when I am upset. I can't control it sometimes. If you think I am getting too excited, just say so and
I'll go sit down and take a break!"
It's time that those of us with PTSD and other anxiety disorders, depression
and other mental illnesses begin to demand that those associated with the medical profession begin to get educated in the
symptoms of mental illnesses. There's a huge percentage of people with a mental illness today. It's not the exception, it's
more the rule that you will interact with a person with a diagnosable mental illness in a hospital setting. Dealing with hyper sensitivity or hyper arousal is a medical condition just as mental illnesses are.
|
 |
|
Cultivating Your Inner Guidance System
By Ron and Denny
Reynolds
Here we are on planet earth, going about our lives, constantly making decisions -
our minds working overtime, with most of us giving no thought to which master we've put in charge from moment to moment. The mind has two potential masters: ego or Spirit.
The ego is that part of us that is fear-based and looks at life through the lense of doubt, judgment, and belief in a negative reality.
Spirit, on the other hand is based in love and sees life through the lense of cooperation,
harmony, and forgiveness.
It's important to remember that of the two masters, ego
and Spirit, we decide which one rules our mind and for how long. We have the power to send the ego on vacation and put Spirit
in charge, but to do that takes awareness.
First, you must stay conscious that both Spirit and ego are sharing space in your
mind. Second, you must stay awake, pay attention, and recognize when ego has run amuck and is making choices that do not serve
you.
How do you distinguish between the voice of the ego and the voice of Spirit?
It's the difference between the voice of fear and the voice of love. Your compass in the world will always be your feelings. First comes thought, then come feelings. Feelings will always let you know whether the thought was ego/personality self generated or Spirit / Higher Self generated.
To deny the barometer
of your feelings is to get lost. The joy is that we never have to be lost because we're never without our natural guidance system.
We're never without our feelings. We can always check-in and ask ourselves, how am I feeling about this?
If you feel good your compass is telling you you are in harmony with
your Source energy, If you're feeling upset or uncomfortable, it's telling you you're out of harmony with your Source energy and it's time for a course correction.
Once you figure out how you feel, and if you decide you want to feel better, you can make another choice. But you won't make
another choice until you can experience where you are right now.
Learning to feel your
feelings is not always easy. Many of us have been taught that feelings are bad or need to be controlled or overcome. We have been discouraged from feeling, taught to suppress our emotions. This is particularly true for men who were taught from childhood that big boys don't cry.
Our culture teaches that being sensitive to feelings is a sign of weakness. Many women have been taught to hide their feelings as a way to keep the peace and avoid conflict.
People often have difficulty feeling their feelings because they confuse feelings with thoughts. It surprises them to learn that feelings register in the trunk of the body and they can be found somewhere between the neck and the thighs. Thoughts, on the other hand, only happen in the head. When you're thinking you're probably not feeling.
Feelings, like any other alarm system, can come unbidden and unexpectedly. They simply arise within. Once we cultivate our
willingness to notice them, we become better at using nature's guidance system.
Feelings can also provide a signal that you need to take action. When you're in a circumstance - say walking to your car after
dark and you feel a tightening in your belly, it can be a signal to become alert to your surroundings. If you're at a party
and you feel a tightness in your chest, it may be a signal that the conversation is painful for you and you may need to talk
to someone else.
Learning to focus on the inner feeling is a major step to becoming Self-Centered. At any given moment when you know how you feel, you'll know what you need
to do to live your life from the center of your Self, honoring your connection to the Divine.
Let us share the story of Sabrina. She couldn't tell her feelings from her thoughts. Sabrina had an adult daughter who was addicted to drugs. Denny asked, "How does that make you feel?" She began to tell a
story about the difficulty she experienced with her daughter's acting-out behavior. Denny asked her again, "But how does that
make you feel?" Sabrina persistently continued with her story.
Feelings are very simple. They have no story attached to them. When you're caught in the story, you're thinking; not feeling. Denny then directed Sabrina to look within her body to see if anything of an energetic nature was registering. Did she feel
a tightness, a ping, an uneasiness, an inner physical sensation when she thought of her daughter's drug use? Sabrina found the feeling in her chest and the tears began.
Here are some examples of random feelings you might have in the course of a day: happy, sad, jealous, afraid, guilty, depressed, anxious, angry, peaceful, excited, emotionally exhausted.
Caution: feelings should not be confused with judgments. Saying we feel "good" or "bad" is a judgment about a feeling. Therefore, that too is a thought. When you find yourself judging, go one step deeper. What is the feeling that you're judging? Feelings are an inner state. Judgments are thoughts that describe those inner states.
No one else can make us feel happy, sad, guilty, depressed, ashamed, or joyful. All feelings are self generated. If this were not true life would be very easy. When your
partner is sad or unhappy all you would have to do to shift that reality would be to pour feelings of joy and contentment into them. This
is not possible.
When was the last time someone made you happy, sad, or depressed? If you think they did look again. The other can trigger those feelings, but once your button has been pushed you manufacture the feelings from within.
Guilt, for example, is very tricky. It never feels self-generated. We even use the expression "he laid a guilt trip on me," as though the feeling came from someone else's power. The truth is we decide when to feel guilty, how bad to feel, and when to stop feeling this guilt. We are in charge of our feelings. When it comes to guilt, we become our own judge, jury, and executioner.
Guilt is a marvelous defense mechanism. It is a substitute feeling that we can control. We lay it over places where we feel ashamed of ourselves and then we can experience guilt instead of shame. It also keeps us from feeling how badly we've hurt another person. It protects us from our own conscience. Carrying the cross of guilt allows us to feel separate from those we've harmed and we never have to open our hearts to identify with the wound we've
caused.
Whenever you're feeling guilty it's important to ask yourself what feeling am I avoiding? What is it I don't want to look at or experience? Guilt keeps us from opening our hearts and allowing self-forgiveness and compassion to pour forth. It's also important to remember
that feeling guilty blinds us to the reality of the situation. We become stuck in ourselves and we can't see the bigger picture.
Notice, guilt is such a tricky emotion that the preceding paragraph may make no sense to you. We recommend that you read it several times, letting the meaning wash
over you. You may even want to go back and read it again, at another time, once the ego has lightened its grip on your thinking.
(Cultivating Your Inner Guidance System is from
the book "Art of Relationship: The New Perspective." Other books by Ron and Denny Reynolds, published by Trafford Publishing
include "The New Perspective: Ten Tools for Self-Transformmation," and "We Are Here: The Voice of The New Perspective." VISIT
THEIR WEB SITE AT: www.thenewperspective.com)
Author's Bio: Ron
& Denny Reynolds apply to relationships the Spiritual principles outlined in their first book The New Perspective: Ten
Tools for Self-Transformation. They've discovered that conscious awareness brings an enhanced sense of love & harmony
to every partnership.
In addition
to using these principles in their own relationship, Ron & Denny have assisted the growth of other couples in countless
workshops & retreats. Denny has been a Marriage & Family Therapist for more than 20 years, practicing in Lafayette,
California. Ron is a retired radio & television broadcaster & now devotes time to Spiritual teaching & writing.
They have two grown sons & a happy life embracing more than 47 years together.
source site: click here
|
|
|
|
|
source site: click here
....talking with families about
sensitive topics, see the following Web resources:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
