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Imagine yourself as the newborn baby
you once were. Whether you're a man, woman, teen, grandma - you've somewhere in time encountered the miracle of a new
born baby. The miracle of course is the fact that the baby is pure. It hasn't suffered anything. It's beautiful, perfect in
all of our eyes. We can feel the newness, the pureness of heart & the wonder of the moment of pure innocence.
Close your eyes
to picture the very moment that you were born. Maybe you know the story of your birth, maybe not. But if you have some
kind of idea, do you know who was in the room when you were born? Who was in the waiting room of the hospital? Who waited
at home for the phone to ring, saying that the time had come?! You were born! And what was the very first thing you did?
With your knowledge
of your birth moment right this minute - how does your personal birth picture make you feel?
What is the first thing that
everyone wants to hear when a newborn baby is born? The
cry! Can you see the picture in your mind?
And so it is with every
baby that is born upon the face of the earth. Did you ever think about your own birth? What were the circumstances of your birth?
Each of us has a different
story. Each of us are unique. We all had different beginnings. It's this unique, individual beginning that we build
on. As a newborn baby we are perfect. We are an empty slate that will be written upon throughout our entire lives. This is
how you must think of yourself as you go through the emotion & feelings pages.
This process is how I learned that emotions & feelings were a vital part of personal growth & recovery. How can we emerge into a state of well being at a much later age, like me - beginning again at age 45! How could I understand why I was the person I was at age 45 if I didn't go backwards & see exactly what was written
upon my empty slate - from the very beginning of my life?
It's not an easy task, but I challenge you to walk through each of the sites with me as I tell you my story & how you can go back to see for yourself - how
you became the person you are today & what you can do to begin a life full of understanding
& well being - both mental & physical!
I'm sure you
can think of all the possibilities that the babies being born into the world today might encounter. What's being written on those clean
empty black slates that belong to the newborn babies of today? Just as when you were born, it's all different.
The reason is simple. I had NO clarity of thought. I had confusion, hurt & a thick fog. I was living in such turmoil & pain that I wasn't able to start at anyone's beginning. I did the best I could under the circumstances I was dealing with. I had to wait for the medications to take hold to alleviate the severe symptoms of mental illness I was experiencing.
I had to admit to myself that I was experiencing mental illness. That's
sometimes a tough piece of meat to cut through. I had to grasp at straws to find a starting point after living one year in
my bedroom - totally isolated from everyone. I had to "come back to life" so to speak & find some element of who I was before I could go back to my
beginnings - able to see the connections.
You see our life is nothing but connections. The connection of our birth to what was written on our blank slate from then on. How we coped with the elements that were detrimental to
our well being as newborn babies, toddlers & then children. Connecting our early childhoods to our teenage years. Continuing the path of the volumes of written experiences that formed us into
the people we eventually turned out to be as a young adult.
It's all connected. Your family history, your first, second & third year of life, pretty much establishing
by then the actual personality, temperament (additional info concerning temperament click here) of the person you are today. Believe it or not... that's how it happens & if anything disrupted what might have been a "perfect" upbringing - who knows what might transpire.
Developing coping mechanisms when our needs weren't met, pushing through the parenting techniques of an untrained parent, dealing with not enough attention, too much attention, whatever happened... it all has a bearing
on who you are right now as you read my words. And this is why I'm using this opportunity - the fact that Lycos messed up
one of the sites that is interwoven into the network - as a positive stepping stone to introduce to you all what I've learned throughout my 5 - 6 years
of personal growth & recovery.
If you don't believe that getting your head screwed on straight is important...
click here and listen to this video on youtube.com! It's a long video so go there now and just click the
address on your favorites if you don't have time to listen to it right now!
kathleen
 The first site I designed was titled, "anxiety understanding."
After awhile, the whole concept had to change because I use "free sites" offered by Tripod. There's only so much "free space" per site - & I had so much information
to share with everyone.
I had no idea in the beginning about how much information
I would need to acquire an adequate understanding of mental health & mental illnesses.
"anxiety understanding" evolved into anxieties 101 after I had the benefit of learning volumes about mental health & mental illness.
I'm not sure how I grasped the concept of having
to change the "whole person" to recover from mental illnesses, but I had read so many articles that stressed the importance of some basic lifestyle factors &
the direct correlation between the mind/body connection.
I also learned that each age group & gender had their own individual
symptoms, problems & concerns that needed to be taken into serious consideration.
End result after many different attempts - anxieties 101 is divided into 3 major sections:
anxieties 101: this site contains information concerning the following 3 basic topic groupings.
Mental Health & Mental Illness
Did you realize that more
than 1/2 the people recently polled believed that mental illness, i.e., depression - was simply a "state of mind" that one needed to "snap out of."
anxiety disorders
generalized & social anxiety disorders:
separation anxiety mentioned as well
caregiver anxiety
panic disorder:
information regarding panic attacks included
phobias:
specific phobias, social phobia, agoraphobia
- additional page linked off of this page: the phobia list
obsessive compulsive disorder:
mention of other obsessive compulsive
disorder (tourettes, etc.)
post traumatic stress disorder:
acute stress disorder
Since
depression is very often co-existing with the above anxiety disorders as well as negative coping mechanisms resulting from unresolved emotions & feelings, eating disorders, abuse & other forms of dysfunction, there's plenty of information regarding depression & other mood, or affective disorders included.
depression page: links to other depression information within the site - additional pages linked off of this page: bipolar disorder, mood & affective disorders
how it all works:
This page is offered because I found the
information very important in understanding mental illness & recovery processes, how your brain works, how your brain is linked to many subjects, etc. as well as a glossary of mental health terms...
The more you
learn about mental illness, the more you begin to realize about how prevalent it is within different
age groups. therefore, I've broken it down into different age levels on each of the following pages...
Age & Gender Groups
children & mental illness:
Topics concerning children
& mental illness as well as info concerning the currently being developed site, children 101 - this site can be accessed while being developed! Additional pages linked off of this page: parenting 101
teens & mental illness:
Different topics concerning
teens & mental illness for parents to look over as well as info about the teenscene site!
young adults & mental illness:
What concerns young adults
directly in relationship with mental health & well being, i.e., college, eating disorders & other issues?
men & mental illness:
What concerns men directly with mental health & lifestyle, parenting, job related issues?
women & mental illness:
What concerns women directly in relationship with mental health, parenting, career & other issues -separate page for women about hormonal changes & connection with mental illness?
seniors & mental illness:
What concerns seniors directly in relationship with mental health, life transitions & other issues?
Lifestyle
factors have a huge link to our mental health. Thru my research I found that I needed an education concerning
my lifestyle habits that had a great bearing on my well being, so I included lifestyle pages on this site as well.
Lifestyle Factors
lifestyle diet:
It's surprising to
learn the ramifications of a nutritious diet in relationship with your mental health & well being!
According to CBS News, "According to the Pentagon's latest
mental health survey, 31% of Marines, 38%t of soldiers & 49% of the National Guard reported psychological symptoms such
as anger, depression or alcohol abuse after returning home. As the director of the survey said, combat stress isn't something
you just get over.
"It may manifest and change
their lives forever. These are men and women who have undergone experiences that are unlike anything else in humankind,"
Vice Adm. Donald Arthur said.
For wounded soldiers like Staff Sgt. Daniel Shannon,
post-traumatic stress disorder adds insult to their injuries.
"I started smashing furniture,
very rapidly; so fast I didn't know what I was doing 'til it happened. I'd get mad so fast, so angry, and just lash out,"
Shannon said."
If you're feeling as though there might be a possibility
that you're experiencing depression, anxiety, panic, post traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder or a phobia - I urge you to click on one of the above underlined links to visit anxieties 101 to see if you're dealing with the symptoms of an anxiety disorder &/or depression.
Since anxieties 101 has been so busy, I've tried over the 5 years I've been working on the sites, to keep new & updated material
& information available for you always. In keeping with this thought, you'll see on every page of anxieties 101 a section titled, "in the news...."
You'll find pertinent articles that have been
recently published on the internet. All you do is click on the underlined title & a new window will open with the article
on it.
Keep reading in the right hand column as there are additional facts concerning
the emotional feelings network of sites over there!
After I removed the majority of the abuse information from anxieties 101 & emotional feelings - to make more room for mental health information, I designed abuse 101 to be sure to include the important information concerning abuse & domestic violence.
"anxiety understanding," my original website -
included a section concerning domestic violence & abuse.
These topics had to be omitted because of space limitations
with the Tripod free websites. As I felt that there was more information that needed to be addressed with each topic, I omitted the topic from anxiety understanding and
then opened a new site for the omitted topic.
This process is how the network of 28+ sites came to be!
The new website - dealing with domestic violence &
other types of abuse - abuse 101 - was born.
I survived domestic violence & other types of abuse growing up & as an adult. While abuse 101 is in existence, it only has basic information available & it remains in need of more work on my part to make it more complete.
The important thing I learned about abuse is that if you're in an
abusive situation now or if you've been abused sometime in your past - the result of that abuse can be - a huge pit of unresolved emotions & feelings - that you've buried
inside of you for a very long time. We all do this without knowing it. We simply erase the memory of these painful emotions
& feelings from our minds because we don't understand how to cope with these negative traumas, crises and abuses.
These buried, unresolved emotions & feelings don't
just go away because you're not thinking about them anymore. They lay inside of you & fester. The intensity of those unresolved
emotions & feelings escalates & manifests themselves into physical & mental illnesses - other emotions & feelings
known as secondary emotions & feelings that begin to develop because your negative coping mechanism isn't working well
enough to cause you to eliminate the total memory from your current thoughts.
If you've ever asked the question, "Why doesn't an abused woman leave her abusive situation?" your answer is - she's probably suffering from several types of abuse that have escalated into some kind of mental illness & even physical illnesses. If she's depending upon her husband's
insurance to be treated for a physical illness - she can't leave the relationship.
After living in one + domestic violence shelters in my adult
years, I was never once asked if I was experiencing symptoms of mental illness. They may have asked me entrance questions;
but I don't recall anyone referring to mental illness. It was never suggested that I check into having a mental health evaluation.
It was never once suggested that my children receive a mental health evaluation or counseling.
I have to tell you that although domestic violence shelters
are a necessary system in today's world, they need to be re-evaluated to establish a routine of helpful assessments to help reduce the times a woman returns home to her abuser.
A mental health screening might save hundreds or even thousands of lives if a victim might receive new of a diagnosable
mental illness that needs attention.
If a woman who has escaped into a domestic violence shelter
who has been experiencing depression due to her abusive relationship and environment - she needs to know that her
children are at a very high risk of developing depression, anxiety disorders or even an eating or sleeping disorder
as well.
Also it's a
proven fact that the woman who tends to be a victim of domestic violence usually has few life skills. You can visit the Life
Skills 101 website by clicking here! Check out how you can improve your sense of well being by learning how to be an independent
person who is able to take care of herself and her children without that abusive spouse or partner.
Here are some of them:
- physical abuse
- mental abuse
- verbal abuse
- domestic violence
- child abuse
- sexual abuse
- financial abuse
- spiritual abuse
& there's also information concerning:
- abuse of power
- control
- intimidation
- manipulation
Those of us who experienced or witnessed
domestic violence or abuse as children within our family or origin or our extended family may have found those experiences confusing at the time. I certainly was confused as to how an adult could allow this to happen to children.
But after the same domestic
violence occurred in my own family; I found my adult children echoing the same concern, "Mom, how could you let our step-father hit us & punish us the way he did?" The betrayal instilled into their hearts by my lack of knowledge cut like a knife into their psyches.
Now I know what to do and
I know that by educating myself and my children - that we've nipped the domestic violence in the bud - ending a generational acceptance of family violence and betrayals.
I was laying in bed the other night,
listening to some soft music on the radio, and this song played. I kept forgetting to find it to look at all the lyrics to
be sure that they were what I thought they were. But... I was surprised to find the title, Superman! (It's not easy to be
me)
I was thinking
in some of the lyrics that I could identify with it sometimes. So I'm posting it. How many people in our lives believe we're
that "Superman" or "Superwoman" in their lives?
And we're thinking ...
Superman
(It's Not Easy to be Me)
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better
part of me
I'm more than a bird
I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face
beside
a train
It's not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find
a way to lie
About a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd
but don't be naive-
Even
Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed
but won't you concede?
Even Heroes have the
right to dream
It's not easy to be me
Up, up and away: away from me
It's all right
You
can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy or anything
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that
naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I'm only a man in a
silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking
for special things inside of me
It's not easy to be me.
do you understand what I was thinking?
Here's a story I wrote for Newsvine.com - a group I belong to...
At The End Of Your Day...
by Kathleen Howe
At
the end of each day, do you reflect back from the time you woke up and ask yourself, "What did I accomplish today?"
or "Who did I touch with something I said or did today?" and honestly take the time to search your day for answers to these
questions. Each of us - if we are to live with ourselves in good conscience; must have a deep seeded belief that we are to
treat our fellow man as we would like to be treated ourselves. If this is fact, why wouldn't we take the time each day to
hold ourselves accountable? Why wouldn't we take the few minutes it would take to account for touching someone elses' life
besides our own?
Does it matter what religion we follow
in order for this to be of utmost importance to us? Is politics your religion? Do you think more of what candidate lies the
most or who will ruin our country the fastest than you do of what you personally can do to change the life of just one person
each day you are alive? Is it too difficult for us to reach out to others? Are we too selfish to expect this type of servitude
of our own selves? I'm curious, does it hurt too much to try to help someone and they don't respond? What is it that isn't
changing our world as we know it? Why aren't we all wallowing in the "love light" of loving our neighbor as our self?
People ask who is responsible for
the state of our economy today and the answer is truly visible should one dare to look at it. Who in business has lied
today? Take a number, you are responsible for the aching need within the one country in the world that catches the world's
eye no matter what happens within. Who in business has been greedy today? Take a number as well, the meat counter is very
busy today with "special cuts" of beef being on special. If you can grasp that analogy... think about it some more.
Who in business has disregarded the
health and well being of other Americans today while keeping their own needs, wants and benefits in their decision
making processes? Who cares about those who don't have what they have in life - like a job? It has been a cut throat, man
eat man, woman eat woman world in America's business history in the past twenty-five years and I believe that the state of
the economy has been the fat sacrificial pig.
Has capitalism finally met its demise
in the true sense of the world? When big business is forced to use the governmental credit card they've been saving to survive
- just as millions of Americans have been forced to do for decades, the pot has truly called the kettle black. What gives?
I'll tell you. There are not many business people in this world hanging on to the Golden Rule. It's not just business that
has shifted to this "easy way" of living. It's government, it's the educational system, it's not a dog eat dog world anymore
- people are gnawing their way through other people as if the cannibal special is working its way to extinction. Which it
just might be.
I took a week off of Newsvine
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